#i think my actual fear in terms of what gets shown in games is just. home invasion. like oh fuck freddy's outside

[ghoooooooooooooooost]

i'm such a horrorhead that i rarely actually get scared by it <guy who is currently managing to get himself scared just from watching goofy critique vids on fn*f n tattletail

[aebinspa]

meant to be

PAIRING: karina x y/n reader

SUMMARY: Your life couldn’t have been worse. You aspired to make a living as a photographer, but instead, you found yourself working in a fast-food restaurant alongside a colleague who rarely offered you any good company. Everything changed when the famous model Karina showed up at your workplace. After a few days, she managed to convince the editorial team to hire you as the photographer for her photoshoot. However, your career faced another threat when Karina pressured you to assist her with a strictly confidential operation.

GENRES: angst, lies, loneliness, we will face suffering in this life, but eventually, things will improve, and we will start over again and again, fluff at the end.

WORD COUNT: 6.9k

AUTHOR'S NOTE: english is not my first language! i'm not cut out for writing long stories. i went crazy countless times while writing this one :)) i added a little bit every day and it made the story more confusing. the next five things I write will be fluff, no more angst for a while + thank you for all the support you have shown for what i wrote. i am extremely grateful and happy that someone was able to appreciate them!

Life didn't end when you lost all your friends because of bad choices, didn't know where to put your hands, or stopped recognizing yourself in what you did and said. Life didn't end when you turned twenty. At least that's what you told yourself every morning to convince yourself to get up, when even what had previously seemed sensible lost all meaning.

In the eyes of your parents and your old friends, you had remained imprinted as a sour girl, difficult to manage but who, beyond some character problems, had always shown herself willing to help. Never to be helped. Perhaps this had a powerful impact. In your daily life, no one asked how you were in the morning. Was it more difficult for others to reach out to you and always receive a refusal or was it more difficult for you now to be alone, without anyone? And yet loneliness had always been so dear to you; a space where you could truly be yourself.

After trying to attend political science university for a few months and failing the first exam, you soon realized that it wasn't for you. The only luck was having met a girl who, between one lesson and another, had introduced you to the world of photography.

In photography, you discover a kind of joy that you could share. Often others would ask you for photos and you, with a big smile, couldn't wait to take one. Of course, everything got complicated when you had to come to terms with reality. There was no longer just photography, you also had to think about earning some money.

That's how you ended up working at a fast food restaurant that was open all day and, with the constant fear of running out of money at any moment, you signed up for all the night shifts. Someone had set you up by telling you that they paid more, but only when your first paycheck arrived did you realize that your dear colleague only wanted to get rid of the difficult shifts.

That night, you and Sunwoo, the beloved colleague who had actually made fun of you a few years earlier, were at the counter of the fast food restaurant busy playing UNO. It was more than rare to see customers at two in the morning.

“UNO!” Sunwoo shouted at the top of his lungs. “Fuck you, asshole! I’m tired and you dare win my favorite card game!” you threw the remaining cards of the deck off the counter. Sunwoo huffed and, with an agile leap, got off the counter and went to retrieve the poor cards that were now lying on the floor that was far too clean for the hygiene standards of the place where you worked. “It’s the only card game you know how to play, Y/n”

It was cold outside. A cold that froze the bones. Your winter uniforms didn’t warm you enough and the heating had suddenly stopped working the day before. Sunwoo didn't let it show, but he hated working more than you did. He had a dream more ambitious than yours and unfortunately, every door was closed in his face. The fast food place where he worked with you was the daily confirmation that failure was a constant in his life. And you were experiencing the same situation first-hand.

Sometimes photography gave you work, but you couldn't eat from it. Small jobs are undoubtedly formative, but not appealing to the taste of those big companies that looked at your disastrous portfolio.

While Sunwoo began to sweep the clean floor, you, lost in your thoughts, froze, feelinglessly staring at the street you looked at every night. Suddenly, you saw a black limousine approaching, and, scared that someone important might be there, you shook Sunwoo’s arm and pointed to the car. His eyes widened as well.

But to your surprise, the first person to step out of the car was a man in a tuxedo who then proceeded to open the back door facing the fast-food restaurant. A girl of medium height came out, wearing a black dress that hugged her body in all the right places. When she was closer to the door, you immediately noticed, illuminated by the decadent lights of the place where you were, that she had heavy makeup on her face that beautifully framed her eyes.

The young raven-haired girl sat on the stool in front of the counter. Sunwoo was still speechless. He could only mutter a shy, unprofessional “Ah, hi,” to which the girl responded with a sweet smile. Her gaze shifted to you and you flinched.

“Can I order?” she reached out to grab the menu Sunwoo had sat on earlier. “I guess so.” “The menu with the fattest, greasiest, biggest sandwich you have, please.” Sunwoo snatched the menu out of her hands and shouted “Right away!”, disappearing into the kitchen and leaving you in front of the girl. Outside, you noticed her date glaring at you.

“Not many customers come by, do they?” “We don’t usually see anyone. That’s why your visit surprised us a lot” The girl laughed in a strangely loud way. Strange, I thought she was more composed. “God, please. We will be more or less the same age, don't be so formal,” she wiped her hands on her dress laughing, and then looked at you ready to shake your hand “I'm Karina. It’s a stage name. I model full-time."

You shook hands with her, apologizing for how cold and greasy it might feel. “Well, I… I work here.” The girl smiled at you. “And do you like working here?” “What?”

Sunwoo came with Karina’s order and placed it before her, avoiding her gaze. When he crossed yours, you noticed that the boy had red cheeks. I whispered something to you but you didn’t understand.

It’s been too long since someone asked you what it was like to live a life you no longer wanted. Your mouth dried up and you were unable to answer. Karina shrugged and began eating the sandwich undisturbed.

With her mouth still full from the bite she had just taken, the model opened up to speak. It was evident she was nothing like the stereotype of a typical model; her authenticity was refreshing. Feeling overwhelmed, you moved two stools away from the client, seeking a bit of distance as you listened, intrigued by her unique charm.

"You took those, didn’t you?" Karina found it difficult to eat that part, but she couldn’t help but examine the few decorations in the fast-food restaurant. "Ah, those pictures," you turned your entire body to look at them. "Yes, I took all of them. They’re from our customers who left a special tip." "Special tip?" Karina asked, intrigued. "Yes, for a change of $4, you receive a Polaroid and agree to have it displayed on this wall. It’s not worth much, though, because I’m required to take two pictures for the price of one."

"They are all very pretty. I know some people." "There are a lot of people passing by. Sometimes they tell you their story, take a picture, and then leave, never to return. It’s almost as if-" "Romantic, yes" Karina finished the sentence for you, to your great surprise.

The silence that was created afterward was strangely comfortable. For someone like you who was always uncomfortable when she met strangers, the situation was quite strange. Karina, on the other hand, seemed completely at ease as she was happily humming and chewing at the same time. When the crow finished eating, she got up from her stool, stretched her arms, and put ten euros on the counter.

"Please don't make me change." "Pardon?" "I would like one of those photos. I'm looking forward to experiencing this too." What enthusiasm!

You took the Polaroid and waited for the young woman to pose before taking the picture. Karina made a big heart with her arms and gave you a wink. She is truly a model… "Are you done?" "Done!"

Karina approached you, then stood behind you and waited for the Polaroid to be ready. When she was ready, the girl screamed full of joy. You smiled unconsciously. "I love it, thank you!" she leaned it delicately on the counter and then turned quickly towards you, continuing to talk. "Let’s take the other one! Let’s do it together. Where is that boy? Boy! Boy! Ehiii!" Sunwoo ran out of the kitchen alarmed. "What- what happened?" "Nothing, Sunwoo" You put your hand on your forehead. "Can you take a picture of us? So we can hang it there." Sunwoo looked for your eyes but you avoided him, unable to explain. At which the boy approached the polaroid and urged you to pose. Karina chose the same place where all the other clients had been, saying she would keep the theme, and invited you to place yourself next to her.

Karina was a little taller than you, maybe a few centimeters, but in your eyes there seemed to be a huge difference. You stood closer to her to form the heart and pretended a smile of convenience to allow Sunwoo to take this photo. The proximity to the model sent a bizarre sensation creeping along your spine. Intrigued, you paused to take a closer look at her. In that moment, when no one else was watching, the radiant smile she had worn so confidently faded entirely from her face. Her eyes, once sparkling with warmth, now seemed overshadowed by a deep, unsettling darkness that only amplified her presence. Without warning, the model turned her gaze toward you, her lips curving into a wide grin that revealed a perfect set of thirty-two gleaming teeth. A chill swept over you, wrapping around your body like an icy blanket, leaving you momentarily breathless and disoriented. What the fuck?

"You did such a great job, girls. It's rare for Y/n!" You woke up from the nightmare of falling and responded to Sunwoo with a raised middle finger. "Oh, she's got quite an attitude. I need to leave," Karina said, finally letting go of you after holding you tightly. That girl was beginning to stir strange feelings in you. "The photo turned out just fine. Let me sign it and put the date on it. Come on!" Sunwoo timidly passed the Polaroid to the girl and watched her do everything she said.

With your arms folded you waited for her comfortable finish. Karina approached the corkboard and put your Polaroid on it. He smiled at her and turned, heading for the exit.

"Y/n!" Hearing your name pronounced by the model, you turned to her with an interrogative look. "Tell me" "See you!" and ran off into the limo, leaving behind a trail of expensive perfume and a cheap Polaroid.

That night passed faster than expected and Sunwoo told you - with attached photos - how this fantastic Karina was one of the most popular models in recent years. Besides being beautiful, she was about to debut in the cinema world. The moon was full and the cold was more bitter than usual. An uncomfortable feeling was in your chest, but you let it pass.

While you were going to work the next day, you took some pictures at the illuminated windows of that night. One of the projects you had since moving to that city was to create a collection of photos showing nightlife, although it was difficult to call it "life", of the traders, workers, or people just going out for fun. But you didn’t have enough prestige and money.

When you arrived at work, you greeted Sunwoo coldly, who returned. You worked hard until three in the morning because, as you well know, on Saturday mornings there were waves of guys full of life coming back from bars where they had only drunk, or from discos in the area. You found it a good opportunity to take some pictures for your photo project.

In no time at all it was six o'clock. The sun was beginning to rise and the first rays of sunshine came through the large windows of the structure. You and Sunwoo were getting ready for the end of the shift, but the boy seemed particularly agitated so you told him to leave before you. You would have waited for the other girl to give her the keys and start the shift after. Sunwoo thanked you and ran away. You knew how much he cared about his passion.

The sound of the door creaking open cut through the stillness of the room, jolting you from your thoughts. You glanced at the clock on the wall, your brow furrowing as you noted it was already twenty minutes past the time your colleague was supposed to arrive. Just as you were about to call out, "You’re lat—" your words caught in your throat. Standing in the doorway was not your expected colleague, but the enigmatic man who had accompanied Karina the night before. He stood there, an air of mystery surrounding him, his presence both intriguing and unsettling as he caught your eye.

"How can I help you?" you asked, even though you were pressed for time and the only one in the room. "I was looking for you. It was lucky that I found you right away," the other person replied. You tightened your grip on the broom you had been pretending to sweep with just moments before. "For what purpose?" you inquired.

The man reached into his pocket and pulled out a crisp white card, sliding it across the table to you. You glanced down to see a neatly printed address alongside the name: Vogue, Karina’s Photoshoot. Confusion washed over you as you looked back up at him. "What does this mean?" you asked. He shifted uneasily, avoiding your gaze. "Miss Karina has requested that you oversee her new photoshoot," he explained, his tone heavy with discomfort. "The previous photographer was let go… rather abruptly. I expect you to be at the studio in two days."

Your hands shook as you faced a big opportunity. You nodded slowly, your mouth half open, unsure what to say. The man smiled and walked away, leaving you stunned. The broom fell from your hands and clattered to the floor. Your knees felt weak, and your mind went blank for a moment. You couldn’t think. You wondered how powerful Karina was and what she wanted from you.

The next day you showed up in the hall of the huge palace, waiting fearlessly for someone to come and call you. You had spent the night before reading and browsing photography books or looking at random palettes that could help you match any clothing you found on Karina.

A tall woman approached you slowly, her expression grim as she pointed to a location on the map she had just tossed at you. What a kindness… You quickly walked toward the meeting place and, upon finding the door, opened it carefully. Inside, a crew of about twenty people turned their curious gazes toward you, along with Karina and her manager.

You slowly approached your collaborators and thanked them timidly for their attention. "We will do everything that needs to be done and we will accomplish it together. All we should do is unite everyone’s ideas and give life to some of the most beautiful photos ever made" Karina, sitting in a velvet chair, put her hand in front of her and laughed candidly.

It didn’t take five hours to create everything that needed to be created. The ideas came from everyone like a river in full flow. Fill a room with artists who are also competitive people and you will get the exact personification of an erupting volcano. You were the Vesuvius and the fashion industry was your Pompeii. The next day you swore to finish the project so that you could go on with the production of the photos.

Karina, who should have been bored at least by having spent the day waiting for others to do their jobs, approached you with a remarkable delicacy and touched your shoulder. "Can you come over there?" Karina pointed to a closet nearby; it was her dressing room. "Uhm, sure" There was no reason to say no. You looked over your shoulder before entering the dressing room with the girl with the brown hair. It was the first time you saw her in a suit and all you could think about was how well she wore anything. It must be nice.

Karina invited you to sit in the two-seater chair with her. Hesitantly, you approached and sat face to face with the girl who flashed a smile revealing thirty-two teeth. "I brought you here because—" You interrupted her before she could finish. "Let’s say you fired the photographer from Vogue so I could come here." "An insignificant detail," she replied.

In Karina's eyes, you saw the same darkness you had observed a few days earlier. It made you hesitant to speak, fearing the words wouldn't come out right. "You must help me," she said. "Why should I?" you asked. Karina rose from her chair and stood in the middle of the room, her expression unreadable as she continued to gaze at you.

"You must. And if you don’t, I’ll take the only real opportunity you’ve got in your miserable life off your hands." "What’s the excuse?" the conversation seemed too much for you, so you immediately put yourself on defense. "You are a beautiful girl, you are good at what you do. I like your photos, I am sincere" "But?"

The frigid air enveloped the room, wrapping around you like an unwelcome shroud, making each breath feel laborious and strained. With every second that passed, a chilling sensation crept through your body, as if the very warmth within you was being siphoned away, leaving you increasingly vulnerable to the oppressive cold.

“You must photograph the emerging actress and model Yuna at a moment that could cause a scandal and ruin her career forever.” “This is fucking crazy,” you jumped up and approached Karina, who didn’t move an inch “I’m leaving, I don’t intend to keep this job and do whatever bullshit you came up with. I knew you were crazy, I understood it immediately"

Karina rolled her eyes, grabbed your arm, and pushed you into the seat. “You’re not going anywhere. I’m capable of destroying your present life and your future life. Be careful what you do. Listen to me and calm down” Karina’s hands were extremely cold but your gaze was even more icy.

“Speak then, cheap model” “It will all be anonymous. Become her friend and her photographer. You have one week. The clock runs out before the day you have to send the completed photoshoot to the Vogue editorial office” “It’s called blackmail” “It’s called seizing opportunities. You won’t get them again”

You looked away for a moment before getting up from your chair and moving back to the center of the room. You walked back and forth, occasionally glancing at Karina.

“They’ll kill me anyway when they realize it’s me” “Don’t worry,” Karina stood up to get closer to you, “We’ll use an external computer and no one will ever know” “A person will be involved, I don’t think I’m capable of it” “She won’t die” Karina had an amused grin on her face.

You thought back to Sunwoo and how he loved what he did like no one else. However, the most selfish part of you had surfaced. You wanted to pursue a career in photography, and you were unconcerned about the people who would be affected by your ambition. You would have done anything to make your dream a reality.

“I’m in” You held out your hand to Karina, surprised by your sudden change of heart. When Karina squeezed your hand you noticed it was as cold as yours. And that perhaps you were more similar than you could have imagined.

You never imagined that the next day you would find yourself taking pictures of the woman who had asked you to ruin the life of another model without remorse. You had discovered that all your collaborators considered Karina a sweet, kind, and always available girl, while in your eyes, every time you looked at her, you felt like you were looking at a monster.

Once the photoshoot was over and, therefore, the work you had to do for Vogue, you walked into the Karaoke where Karina had asked you to meet. The room was insolently small - maybe the girl liked everything smaller - and the nauseating smell made you immediately understand what kind of dump it was.

“Don’t you like it here?” asked Karina, who was cross-legged and munching on some chips, which she offered you and you refused. “It’s pretty disgusting” “It’s okay. We won’t be here long”

Karina took her Gianni Chiarini bag and pulled out three photos. One was of Yuna, the other of a girl you couldn’t identify, and in the last photo, there was you.

“What does that mean?” “Yuna is having an affair with this girl.” Karina touched the face print of the girl whose name you didn’t know with her painted nail and then continued. “In case you didn’t understand, your photo is there because I wanted to let you know that I had you followed a week before I showed up at your place of work by a trusted friend of mine.” “What?” you were visibly shocked. “Don’t worry, honey. I will only use the information I have on you if you don’t cooperate.” A disturbing smile made you doubt her sincerity.

“Why are you so mad at this girl?” “Because she can’t keep what’s hers.” “What does that mean translated…?” Karina huffed and put the photos back in her bag. “We grew up in this industry together. We achieved success together. And then she cheated on me.”

You were stunned. “All this just because he didn't hold your hand throughout the journey of your life? Are you crazy-” “She cheated on me countless times. She told my parents that I’m a lesbian, they haven’t spoken to me since that day. And to top it all off, she stopped me from working for a year, taking away the most important collaboration of my life”

You almost felt sorry, but you didn’t say anything. Her eyes radiated something else. Maybe she too was human and was simply tired.

“Become her new fuck buddy. Treat her well and then you can be sure that you’ll end up finding her making out with someone else. Take as many pictures as you can and you’ll be free forever” “I don’t- Who told you I like women?” “My dear friend” “God, fuck Karina” “Um, maybe this collaboration will lead to something good?”

You looked up in shock and found a rather smiling Karina. “Do you start talking about sex when you're done talking about revenge? You’re crazy.” “I can’t help it if revenge turns me on like crazy.” Karina slowly ran her tongue over her upper lip, while you looked at her with wide eyes.

“Are you really… My god, you do this to everyone?” “Everyone who? You’re probably the last woman in three years that I’ve found truly attractive!” You rested your face on the fist you’d created with your right hand.

“Do you feel lonely?” Karina looked at you intently and nodded, gently moving her head. “Me too. That’s why I’ll help you. I see reflected in your eyes the same sadness that I feel." That's what it was.

“Y/n” “Tell me” “Do a good job” “I’ll try”

Karina finished all the chips that were left on the table, while you looked at her intently and prayed that the day you would meet Yuna would never come.

Unexpectedly, you received a call the next day: a very familiar voice invited you to participate in a graphic project that involved twenty different photographers who would take pictures of Yuna during a typical month of hers at the beach. Fans are certainly crazy to buy this, but it's all for the career, right?

Your first encounter with Yuna was ordinary. Where normal means you were struck by how tall and beautiful she was, even though Karina had gotten you used to it well. Yuna walked over to you and pulled you into a tight hug. “Y/n, right? I saw some photos of your portfolio and I loved them. The way you capture what's around is extremely sincere. Thank you for accepting. I am eternally grateful”

Yuna was warm. You noticed it immediately. Her body temperature had nothing to do with Karina's. Yuna's smile, moreover, really showed a sincere kindness. The photos you took were delicate, beautiful, and… real. But you remembered what Karina had told you and quickly came to your senses.

You spent two days taking photographs for one of the most beloved women in the world - that's what the charts said - and on the last evening, Yuna and her manager dragged all twenty of you to a pub.

Yuna, clearly drunk, stood up on a chair and started screaming. “Thank you! You were amazing! This project will come out amazing. Now let’s get our glasses up, we have to celebrate!” As everyone downed a few glasses of beer, you noticed a familiar face looking sweetly at Yuna. It was her girlfriend. You asked the boy next to you to switch seats and, perhaps nodding his head, he permitted you.

"Hi, I'm Y/n" "Ah, nice to meet you, I'm Haseul! Yuna showed me your photos. They're beautiful, congratulations" How cute, I almost feel sorry for using her like that. "I see you're looking at Yuna with sweet eyes… Is there something underneath?" the little laugh you let out right after should have helped break the tension, but it only made it grow even more. Haseul wiped the sweat on her pants and then spoke to you.

"I love her more than anyone else in the world" Ah. "It must be nice to love someone" You ran a hand uncomfortably behind your neck. "It's nice to have someone by your side. We're almost always together. I only have her. After what Yuna went through last year, she's become even stronger" A strong curiosity grew in you.

"What happened to her?" "Her ex-girlfriend cheated on her, Yuna found out and told her parents to shoot her an arrow that would cause her the same pain" "That's not possible" "Plus Yuna lost a very important job with Saint Laurent. She spent sleepless nights because of Karin-" Haseul quickly covered her face with her hands.

"Karina. Are you sure it was her fault?" "Ask anyone you want. She lied to everyone and messed up half the plans of people here just to go out and cheat on her girlfriend. Everyone hates her. She's just a pretty face in this industry"

Your head started to spin, maybe from drinking too much alcohol. “I’m going to get some fresh air!” “Shall I accompany you?” “It doesn’t matter, thanks.”

Outside, on the side of an empty road, you threw up next to a dumpster. Karina had been lying to you. She was evil, she was crazy, and a total dickhead. Everyone knew it but you. Because you had been a normal person until the week before. You had seen the surface, never what was underneath.

You understood that Karina would treat you like Yuna. You understood that the only solution would be to refuse, but your career was at stake.

Yuna came out and walked over to you. “I’m sorry you found out. I know everything. Karina isn’t the only one who can spy on people without being accused.” “Do you know everything?” “From the stupid meeting at the fast food restaurant to the job opportunities she offered you. Her dear friend, aka her manager, is Shin Yuna here’s dearest friend.”

You looked into her eyes. “I’ll have to… No, hurt you. I don’t want to.” I wanted to, but now I don’t want to anymore. “It doesn’t matter. Do it.” “How could I?” Haseul came closer to the two of you. “You can’t hurt us. When you find someone in life who loves you, life has a whole different meaning.”

The cold suddenly hit you. And, strangely, you thought for a second that those two were crazy. “Yuna would lose her job,” you continued “But I will never lose the people I love. And anyway,” Yuna put her arm around Haseul’s waist, “I won’t be in this industry for long.”

Haseul looked you in the eyes and smiled. “Don’t worry.”

As you made your way home, your eyes caught the massive posters of Karina that adorned the streets yet, beneath your admiration, a swirl of conflicting emotions surged inside you; you couldn't shake the nagging feeling that she was not only a bit unpredictable but also a master of deception. Despite all that, you felt an undeniable urge to kiss her.

The karaoke seemed more rotten than usual. Karina didn’t seem to belong there at all. The last day, the decisive one, had now arrived. You sat down, like the last time, in front of the raven-haired girl.

“Hi, Y/n. I see you well. How are you?” “Better than you can imagine” “My ears only want to hear good news”

You took her usual bag of chips from her hands and started munching on them. “What do you think of your modeling job?” “I hate it” Karina, to your surprise, answered without even thinking for a second. “Why?” “There is no sincerity in what I do. But it is the only job that puts me in contact with hundreds of people a week. It makes me feel less alone”

You put the chips on the table and took out the incriminating photos. “Yuna and Haneul, as you asked me and here I have,” you took out the USB stick, “the murder weapon!” Karina looked at you with wide eyes. “Did you… Do it?” “Your charm won me over, unfortunately, I have to admit it” Even though You were ironic, Karina's cheeks turned pink.

Karina pulled out a computer without making eye contact with you. Then she ordered you to open it. In front of your eyes was a fairly famous site where you were supposed to upload incriminating photos of Yuna and Haseul.

“Y/n. I have to tell you something" As you wrote the description of the photos you would publish immediately after, you signaled Karina to continue.

“Maybe it's because I haven't felt someone's affection for a long time, maybe it's because I can't look at myself in the mirror anymore without crying but…” “After Karina, after” “You said…” “Let me talk”

Seeing Karina so vulnerable and with teary eyes made you feel guilty, but what you wanted to do you would have done without complaining. Karina, however, seemed ready to let go of everything, to take a decisive step.

“Karina, kiss me” “Why should I do that? Are you crazy?” “Last time you seemed intent on doing much more!” you raised your voice. “If I kiss you it’s only because I want to show you how I feel!”

You both were incredibly close. The intensity of the conversation had drawn you from the karaoke sofas, and now you stood face to face, the air feeling thick between you. Karina was the first to make a move. She reached behind your neck, gripped your hair tightly, and swallowed hard. You didn't want to initiate the kiss; you wanted her to take the lead. And that’s exactly what she did. Karina leaned in and pressed her lips against yours, but the kiss was tentative, almost shy. She clearly wanted you to respond, but you held back. The kiss ended before it truly began.

“Why?” she asked, embarrassed. You, in response, checked your phone and went back to finishing the article on the computer. You connected your phone to the computer and transferred the photos.

“What about the USB stick?” “I’ll give it to you as soon as I’m finished”

Five minutes passed before you closed the computer. The die was cast. And so is your life and Karina's. There was no turning back, in any way.

“Y/n?” “Done” “Good…” Karina grabbed a blanket and wrapped it around herself. You did the same.

“Why did you lie to me?” “What are you talking about, Y/n? “Tell me the truth. Haseul and Yuna told me everything. I also spoke to other colleagues. All the same version. You’re a liar, Karina.”

Karina looked back at you with a blank stare. “And what are you?” “That’s not the point.” Karina slammed her fist on the table. “From everything they told you, did you only understand that I’m a liar?” “How can I trust you, Karina?”

Karina hugged the blanket and started biting her nails. "You know when I'm lying. You can feel it. You know when I’m not natural. I understood immediately when we met that there was a different connection between us." “Do you say that to everyone?” “You’re not funny, Y/n!” Karina screamed and threw the bag of chips in your direction, making a mess in the room.

“It’s not funny to make fun of people. You used me.” “I didn’t!” “So what did you do, Karina? How would you call what you did?” “I tried to keep you as close as possible… I don’t have anyone. Yuna wanted to leave me and I had sex with someone else the next day! Our relationship was over.” “People can’t love you if you pretend to be someone else.” “Everyone abandoned me. They abandoned me when I pretended to be the sweet and kind Karina and when I was the real Karina!”

Karina seemed to have reached a point of no return, but you could do nothing but pity her. Now you just had to tell her your truth.

“Karina, listen to me. Yuna got what she got because she moved on and recognized that love can be found anywhere. Her career is worth a thousand times more than a career like yours that was built on pain. Just forget about this life. Start over again." “The only one I have is my manager. I have no ambitions, I have no love. I just wanted someone to feel the way I do.” “We all fight for something, Karina! I fight for photography and you’ve been fighting against yourself for too long!”

Karina seemed to be furious. “You don’t understand. I’ve been alone all my life! The only one who’s close to me is my manag-” “No, he’s Yuna’s informant. When he handed me the ticket for Vogue, I immediately understood that he was not on your side, Karina”

“Karina” “I hate you. Will you stop throwing the truth in my face? I know, damn, I know I’m alone. I've never gotten along well with anyone. But with you, I had a good time. Time never seemed to end. You’ll abandon me too. You all do the same when I show you how I am”

You turned the computer towards her. “Karina, I posted the photos. Look at them. First, breathe and then rationalize” Karina did as you said, too vulnerable to go against you.

When she saw the article with the photo of you she couldn’t say a word. She just asked you, in a weak voice, why you did it. “We can start over, Karina. They already had everything. In their eyes, I saw what was missing in ours. Rise from the ashes Karina or die forever, it would make more sense than continuing to pretend to live in someone else’s body”

You got up from the room, knowing that the news with the photo of you and Karina kissing would do more harm to her than to you. You shut the door behind you. You turned around. Outside you waited for Karina, hoping she would come out so you could comfort her. But that didn’t happen.

The news caused a scandal. The billboards with Karina disappeared, her role as the lead actress in that new movie was deleted and for more than a month, all anyone talked about was that photo. No one recognized your face; next to Karina, you looked quite bad. Yuna called you and guaranteed that your name and work would remain in the photo book. The Vogue photos were never published. You stuck them up, with Sunwoo’s help, in the fast food restaurant.

Sometimes someone stopped to observe them and Sunwoo took care of answering their questions. Very naturally, he said that Karina loved coming to this fast food restaurant - before it disappeared - and that you were her favorite.

Six months had gone by, yet the ache in your chest refused to fade, a constant reminder of the unresolved feelings haunting you. Each night, you lay alone in bed, tears soaking your pillow, knowing that no one would come to comfort you—and that no one would offer her the same kindness. In those haunting hours, you grappled with memories and regrets, feeling the weight of your sorrow pressing down on you like a heavy shroud.

“What a beautiful day! Life has never been so beautiful!” “Sunwoo, it’s just your first role in a stupid TV series” “A stupid TV series that you’ll watch!”

You and Sunwoo had become great workmates again. This time, you were the one who requested more hours, and Sunwoo, despite having found a second job, had decided to work alongside you in each of them.

Sometimes you look at the street illuminated by the street lamps. You hadn't been able to move on. After Yuna’s photobook came out, your name appeared on many other projects. You had started working with many more idols. But there was no one like her.

“Still thinking about it?” “My mind is occupied with her, Sunwoo” “You couldn’t contact her?” “No one has her number and no one has been close to her. At least I know she’s not dead” “Yeah…”

It was four in the morning on a random Thursday when a black car pulled up on the road and parked in front of the fast food restaurant. Sunwoo let out a scream and hid behind the counter. “Is that the police? What have you done, Y/n?” “Stop it, you idiot, and get the emergency number ready. You never know”

But a woman with blonde hair, no makeup, and wearing a sweatshirt that looked very expensive, stepped out of the car. At first, you and Sunwoo couldn’t figure out who she was, you could only guess that she was extremely attractive from the way she walked.

When the first light from the fast food restaurant hit her face, Karina revealed herself to you with a shy smile. “Sunwoo…” she waved at the boy. “And well… Y/n… How are you doing?”

Sunwoo let out another scream. This time you did the same. Then you started to cry, unable to control your emotions. Karina threw herself at you and hugged you with teary eyes. After you both calmed down, Sunwoo fried you two large portions of fries and left the place for a moment, pretending to have received a call.

“Y/n. I look at you…” “Terribly, terribly” “Yes, well. You’ve lost weight” You squeezed her hands tightly. Warm tears fell onto Karina's white hands.

“Sorry” “Stop it, it’s okay. Look at me” Karina took your face in her hands and forced you to look at her. Then she continued to speak. “It had to be this way. I was reborn from the ashes, okay? But I want you to do the same. Let’s help each other. We’ve been alone for too long and…”

Karina stopped to look at the road, her eyes shining. “I missed you. The real you is so annoying, sexy, and cute at the same time. I'm happy to hear you're well."

Karina then looked back at you and looked at the palms of your hands. “Come with me. I'm full of money. Let's run away from here, let's go where no one knows us" "Karina" "It doesn't matter if you tell me now. You destroyed my previous life though! I expect you to pick up the broken pieces and put them back together"

She made you laugh and you thanked fate for having met her. You gave her a sweet kiss on the cheek. Karina looked at you with a raised eyebrow.

“Are you just kissing me back?” “Karina, there’s a time for everything” “You know, Y/n, I have a few things I need to tell you about myself. Did you know that I especially love dark chocolate and hate milk chocolate?”

“Karina,” you stood up from the stool and locked your eyes with his. "Tell me, Y/n" “We have all the time to learn to love each other” “And we have all the time to learn to live”

Sunwoo burst into the fast food restaurant, his eyes glistening with tears of joy. He couldn’t contain his excitement as he shared the incredible news: he had secured a role in a film directed by a renowned filmmaker. The moment was electric, filled with laughter and heartfelt congratulations as you both celebrated his achievement. Before leaving this familiar place, you and Karina decided to capture the memory with a photo at the very spot where your journey had begun. As the camera clicked, you were acutely aware that this moment marked a turning point. You stood there, smiling and cherishing the memory, knowing deep down that you were ready to embrace the future and leave the past behind, resolutely moving forward without looking back.

[gz-missfit]

So I wanna talk about tazercraft cause their characters are so incredibly interesting to me in the best way possible. To preface this I don't speak a word of Portuguese (I'm learning tho! And have been picking up on sentences a lot more) and my native language isn't English so I may get some things wrong and if I do feel free to correct me!

More under the cut:

I'll put this in 3 separate parts, them individually and then their dynamic!

Mike:

Mike is interesting to me, he's definitely the outward instigator of the 2 when it comes to causing trouble and as many have already pointed out the brains behind a lot of it! He's managed to master the create mod in ways I genuinely never expected them to be used and it's a cute way to say that mine (his wife) was also a cause of that as the goddess of creation. To move to his personality more he's definitely the lead talker in the duo, he's a lot more confident in his voice and speaking in comparison to Pac and can often seem like the lead of the duo, tho this is the cause for people missing his weaknesses! Mike is not a fighter, far from that actually, he freezes in danger and fumbles. His hand tremble when he holds a sword and sees mobs closing in and when big threats appear his whole body turns into ice. He gets overstimulated by danger he couldn't prepare for or was the cause of. Just to name 2 examples here, the first is in the dungeon on the day the timer ran out you could hear him panic, he was a lot more shaky and especially his sword being the cause of injuries to his friends is what made that worse, it went so far that he even typed in chat that he was overwhelmed (fun fact to note is that through all of that he basically vanished from pacs pov but I'll get to that). Another example is when the code showed up to him and pac to drop Richas cow head to them, he later on explicitly state having frozen in fear to i think Fit if i remember correctly and even when ttt was typed in the chat and pac had jumped down to follow Richas to make sure he could teleport Mike was again, nowhere to be seen.

His fear of a fight that revolves around his family and death especially is so interesting to me cause it's obvious that a lot of that comes from Richas first death and how he still blames himself for it, the fear of failing his loved ones again being set deep into his bones whenever a danger for their lives comes up. This is why the prison stream actually was even more interesting to me than I initially expected, because his personality in that sense took a complete 180! Now it's been shown time and time again that Mike has an intense distaste of the federation and hasn't been fond of them for a long time, he's incredibly hostile to them and not scared at all when threatened by them to the point where it's a game for him and he's retaliated with threats that could lead to a ban for him multiple times. Before I move on I think the reason as to why this is is because the federation never showed to kill or take lives, I think that's why Mike has a lot more confidence in confronting them rather than things that have shown to be fatal with all intention of killing. Back to the prison though, Mike's personality to threats definitely took a turn in there, from the moment we saw him he looked pissed beyond believe and his tone was always threatening and almost mocking, his mind quickly was set on getting him and pac out as soon as possible and the realization that Walter Bob, someone who both have seen be the first federation worker that showed them kindness and an interest in what they do after willingly showing up for a haircut is what devastated him. Mike sees Walter as a close friend due to that and it showed because as soon as the realization of Walters long term treatment hit him he did everything to protect the worker he maybe met a handful of times, you could see him get more and more agitated the more the guards hit him and ironically enough I think if Walter hadn't been there idk if he would've killed the guard, but he was so set on finally setting Walter free as well as make sure Pac doesn't have to relive the past they shared that he was willing to do everything to get those 3 out and that all is perfectly encapsulated by his behavior once Walter got taken again, Mike wasn't sad or distraught like Pac was, no, he was fucking fuming to the point where he didn't respond to Pac. Ya know, the person he talks to 24/7 and that's attached to his hip to the point where most of their words are shared telepathically above all. It was obvious that he was angry beyond believe and I'm sure he's got a lot more plans up his sleeve now to get revenge. Cause if there's one thing about Mike it's definitely that you do not want him as your enemy. He may be an outwardly social guy who is definitely more focused on making people laugh and showing off the things he and Pac created but he's still a fugitive and would destroy the world for those he holds dear as they help him feel stronger in the moments where fear does get the better of him.

Pac:

Pac is honestly incredibly fascinating just due to how many levels his character has. He's outwardly the person that appears more shy in comparison to Mike and stumbles as well as gets flustered quick. This has also been the main cause of people seeing him as a weaker player (which also got added onto by how during the earlier days he'd be the one to die a lot) which in turn has caused an interesting dynamic between him and a bunch of the others players because he's far from that. Pac is full on the brawns when it comes to situations that mean fighting for someone's life, his brain goes into focus mode once a life is on the line and there's many examples to show that! Which is why I find it so funny that he often gets handed things due to seeming and behaving weaker than he actually is (main example here being etoiles who not only gave him a custom diamond sword early on which Pac has kept to this day but also the Scythe which he nowadays uses as his only weapon).

Now to the examples of how he can very much carry his own weight In fights and how fascinating it is to watch him, the first big show of him effortlessly carrying himself and doing his best to support others was during the timer dungeon, he was at the front with Bad,Etoiles and Cellbit and even when a lot less geared than those 3 with a weapon that did a lot less damage he didn't go down once even tho he wasn't even holding a totem at any point. It's genuinely impressive with how well he carried himself through that and used movement to attack big groups of mobs from behind only to have vanished out of their sight again before they could corner him. The only time he got truly cornered was at a point where even Etoiles had to back up a little and ended up next to him and the way Pac casually mentioned being fine only to instantly jump at the opportunity of humor through small talk sticks in my brain to this day due to him having stayed mainly silent the whole time before that. The 2 other examples are about Richas and how quick Pac is to defend his son, like I mentioned before when the Code showed up to him, Mike and Richas, Pac instantly jumped into aggressive, he wanted to hit it but fell due to underestimating the jump and as soon as he laid eyes in Richas he became Pacs priority sticking to his sons side until he was Tp'd away and only then returning to the Platform. The same thing happened during the dinner! Every parent except for him crashed when the codes revealed themselves and as much as Richas was quick to start running the speed at which Pac laid eyes on the egg and started to follow right next to him was genuinely mind blowing, he stood at that elevator once Richas left ready to die if it came to it just to make sure one of those things didn't follow him, and as soon as Mike relogged he became Pacs priority with the latter hovering around him will he was loading in.

Now to compare this to the behavior in prison is interesting. Pacs still as good as ever when it comes to putting on a persona to get what he wants but I do believe that the prison brought up a lot of trauma for him, from what I know his time in prison was a lot worse than Mike's and you could hear that through his voice throughout the whole stream. Pacs a physical fighter not a mental one. But in the end he still has that survival instinct, he still knows he needs to get out to protect his family and he doesn't want to be separated from his other half and best friend anymore so he plays sly. The way he stole the keys from the guard genuinely is the most slick maneuver ever and his ability to portrait his behavior in an exaggerated way that makes him seem like no threat at all has worked in his favor multiple times during this too. He was definitely suffering through that whole experience but his determination to protect the ones he loved still slipped through, his hesitancy when he called to the guards not to hit his friends only to have his voice go small once he was physically threatened. He's not at all comfortable when he doesn't have anything to fight back with. Pacs underestimated A LOT, he let's himself be pushed around for bits with a smile and definitely enjoys appearing a bit dumber and less skilled than he is just due to the perks of it and not really caring for bragging about fighting skills when he'd rather show off the project he and Mike have spent time on, only those with a keen eye can see how he's got the heart of a fighter (Etoiles being the first to vocally call this out) he's not weak by any means and definitely a lot smarter than he'd ever admit. He'd die to protect his family and the ones he cares about and would never back down if push came to shove for them.

To sum this all up and not make this too long (which it already is pfff) for both of them together their dynamic is very clearly the "do not separate" but funnily enough Mike is the one who definitely leans onto that more. During each fight where he panicked, got overwhelmed and/or froze he was missing from Pacs pov, they were split apart and it was Mike who was terrified of not being able to hold his own, the same happened in the prison just differently. In the prison Mike definitely put on a cold facade but it broke everytime he asked if they could share the same cell, the underlying fear of him having to fight alone lacing his words through moments like that. This doesn't mean that Pac isn't the same tho! He's just less outwardly vocal about it in comparison and shows it more through actions and looks. It was obvious to hear his distress when he called Mike's name in prison but his constant turning around to see where the other is and his hesitancy to go into areas that implied separation are what showed how hes just as scared as Mike is about loosing the other.

To go more into headcanon and theories I'd like to think of the 2 as 2 hearts and a shared soul, their telepathic communication is borderline Canon at this point and it's obvious that the thought or implications of being separated doesn't sit well at all with either of them. Their bodies and life's are separate but they're still connected by a soul. And whether that's shown through jokes like not being able to be in one spot without the other or through genuine things like Mike having to remind Pac that only he can hear him unless he uses his voice or their ability to flawlessly work around the other is up to interpretation of each viewer in my opinion but there's something to be said about the fact that without the other they'd never had the determination or confidence to get out of that prison, that without the other their weaknesses would show a lot more and end up causing a lot bigger of a struggle than they currently are. Without the other they wouldn't feel whole.

[stormdragon23]

My Top 10 Solo Leveling Characters

Inspired by this post

I'll keep the explanations short, but if you want a more in-depth explanation, feel free to ask for more (or look through my blog. It isn't that hard to find with how much I post about certain characters)

Choi Jong-In

Gee, what a surprise-

What I like the most about Choi Jong-In is how complex his character is when you actually analyze him. He comes off as a confident, sly person who does what he wants to get something for himself, but when you read between the lines, there is a lot about him that shows nearly the opposite

One example is how he exudes confidence, nearly borderline arrogance, yet when you observe his physical actions, he almost always doing something with his hands, as if he is nervous and holds back from fidgeting. He also cares a lot about other hunters yet does so very subtly, like during the double dungeon when he was giving orders to the other hunters to try to keep them safe. He reacted like how Baek Yoon-Ho did during the Red Gate incident when he learned about what happened with the high orcs A-Rank gate, showing that he does care about his hunters' safety

Okay, I need to stop

2. Baek Yoon-Ho

This should have been expected from just looking at my blog

Baek Yoon-Ho was actually my favorite character early in the story. I love how despite his intimidating appearance, he is actually very kind and a rather sensitive person. He is one of more fleshed-out side characters in terms of his relationships with other side characters and how his backstory before the gates appeared is talked about a lot in various forms of Solo Leveling

He also has a rather complex personality with how serious he appears in public and how it is clear he cares a great deal about the hunters in his guild, yet with people he is close to, such as his friends, he is very expressive and reacts quite a bit to being teased and such

3. Go Gun-Hee

He needs to show up in the game soon

I love how caring he is with the other hunters, specifically Woo Jin-Chul and the other S-Ranks. He makes teasing remarks towards them and is quite soft with them despite his powerful aura. He definitely has the energy of a grandfather, so I like to think he gets along with all the S-Ranks very well

He also seems very protective of them as he was furious about the Japanese Hunters Association's Chairman's plan to eliminate Korea's S-Ranks. He is like that one quote

“There are three things all wise men fear: the sea in storm, a night with no moon, and the anger of a gentle man.”

4. Sung Il-Hwan

Why couldn't he have seen Kyung-Hye one last time-

I also love Sung Il-Hwan's caring nature even though it was only shown after he fought Hwang Dong-Soo and was helping people get out of destroyed buildings and fire. It was nice foreshadowing to him being a firefighter in the past

He's fairly similar to Go Gun-Hee in terms of his protectiveness of the people he cares about and his optimistic/teasing nature even though Sung Il-hwan's personality wasn't shown that much. I admire how he wanted to give up his memories of the previous timeline to properly take care of his son the way he wanted to though. It was very sweet

I want him to be the main character, not his son-

5. Park Kyung-Hye

She should have appeared more. She's so pretty

Not much of her was shown in the manhwa, but the moments of her that stood out to me the most were how she looked out for her family before her own well-being and how she was still waiting for her husband to return

Even when she had just awakened and found out how long she had been asleep for, the first thing she did after getting a grasp on her surroundings is comfort her son. All she knew was that her son had worked hard to take care of him and could see from his hands that he got hurt while doing so. She doesn't know what exactly Sung Jin-Woo did in the years she was asleep yet still thanked him

6. Woo Jin-Chul

Of course he's on the list. Why wouldn't he be on the list

There are many admirable traits that Woo Jin-Chul has, but I think the one that stands out to me the most is his sense of justice and desire to do everything he can to make the world a better place. It doesn't get to the point where it is all he thinks about or does, but it is enough to show that he is passionate about what he believes

His demeanor is also something I like. The way he is stoic and reacts accordingly based on the situation he is in. It makes me wonder about what his personality is actually like behind the mask and when he is not working. Some of it was shown in the side stories, which was very nice to see, though I wish the manhwa had included more moments of him from the novel

He would be higher on the list, but I'm a sucker for parental figures

7. Min Byung-Gyu

The reason I have a strong grudge against Sung Jin-Woo

Min Byung-Gyu is a much stronger person the more you analyze him (I'm working on an analysis of him, so I'll be going into more detail there). The way he is clearly traumatized by the third Jeju raid and had already told Baek Yoon-Ho that he would not be going on the next Jeju raid, yet he still showed up in the end

He likely couldn't bear the thought of the S-Ranks dying without him there more than the possibility of him not being able to save them. Compared to the other side characters, he was actually fleshed out quite a bit, and he was a very unique character compared to the S-Ranks in terms of his personality

He did NOT need to die

8. Son Ki-Hoon

Most underrated character right here

I don't think much about Son Ki-Hoon as he didn't have that much of a presence in the manhwa, but I really like how he was portrayed as a good leader. After all the other raids Sung Jin-Woo had been on prior to this raid, I was really worried that Son Ki-Hoon was going to be selfish like the others. But thankfully, he chose to go the route that would be the safest for the rest of the team (I think he, unfortunately, has bad luck though)

He was also very adamant about protecting his guild members despite it seeming certain that they would die. Not in a self-sacrificial way (which is a trait I personally dislike), but in a way that would the others the best chance of survival while still doing his best to stay alive

9. Park Hee-Jin

She's so pretty alsdkfjafda

Not much of Park Hee-Jin was seen other than the Red Gate, but the game went in depth about her backstory, which I enjoyed watching. To summarize, Park Hee-Jin had "hunches" whenever something is about to go wrong, and although she doesn't know if something will actually happen or not, her instincts are usually right

However, when she tells other people, they usually don't believe her, and when something does happen, they blame her for it. Yet despite the accusations against her, she doesn't let it bother her and just ignores them, focusing on keeping herself and those who do believe her safe. Similar to Park Kyung-Hye, she also has a caring nature with other hunters, especially those younger than her.

10. Eun-Seok

I know he was only in the anime for like. 3 minutes, but hear me out

Despite Eun-Seok not being on screen for long and barely being mentioned anywhere else, the effect he had on the surviving hunters was very impactful. It clearly affected his close friends, Baek Yoon-Ho and Min Byung-Gyu, the latter of whom retired after the raid. It's not clearly stated, but in the game, he also seems to be the reason why Lim Tae-Gyu seems rather jaded at times, so I assume the two must have been close

As for his personality, he seems like someone who looks out for his friends often yet has a playful side to him as well. I hope we get to see more of him later, whether it's in the game or in a flashback in the anime, but already in the anime, they gave him a lot of features, including a whole character design along with very unique powers

I'm very weak towards selfless people who are humble in case you couldn't tell

If you made it this far, congratulations. Have a cookie 🍪 I don't know what other foods to give. Maybe a fruit next time

[batsplat]

Thank you for typing all that out!!!! I was like they had beef??? But it makes sense. I was listening to Casey on the gypsy tale podcast, he mentioned how he was envious of Marc/Vale who had no fear of the track. Makes sense that Marc - the limit of the bike is when I crash - and him would clash even if it wasn't malicious or personal.

(about this) haha no problem! and yeah for sure I don't think it's anything particularly malicious and it's not even BEEF as much as a low-level grudge, the kind of thing that naturally bubbles up when you have athletes' egos existing within a team structure. though I do think the stuff you mention (ie marc's approach to the sport) is something that never did become much of an issue between the two of them, but only because... well they weren't on-track rivals

ofc that's one of motogp's biggest 'what ifs' - what if we'd actually seen casey and marc compete - so none of this is particularly original, but, look, it's a fun one to discuss! casey's for the most part been pretty schtum about marc's actual races and various controversies, but has on occasion mentioned not necessarily being the biggest fan of marc's approach, eg (from 2013):

the "humiliate them" bit is most interesting to me - does feel a similar vibe to some of his complaints about valentino's propensity for mind games. the implications of marc wanting to humiliate opponents would be that for marc, it's not just about just wanting to win, it's about what effect he's having on rivals, about wanting to mess with them

so I - like everyone else - can only IMAGINE what it would've been like if casey had actually had to live the full marc marquez experience. it's a respectful relationship irl because it's a rivalry that never actually got to play out, so casey doesn't have any real motivation to criticise marc much beyond low stakes honda hijinks. and marc probably would have enjoyed getting the chance to race casey, but from casey's side? eh

obviously casey's issues with valentino's riding standards are pretty well-documented (as well as his issues with other rivals, including a younger jorge) (and various somewhat less significant figures, like him and his buddy in 125cc giving alex de angelis the truly terrible nickname of 'alex dangerous'. casey please). marc is relentlessly aggressive in a way casey would not have enjoyed at all, and would've also objected to on grounds of principle. the fearlessness thing you mention from that very very long podcast episode is interesting to me, because yes casey would have liked to emulate that in some ways... but he does also have his issues with riders who ride without fear to the extent that they don't care about their own safety. from his autobiography, explaining his increasing disillusionment with MotoGP:

The most fitting tribute to [Simoncelli's] memory shouldn't have been a plaque by the side of the track where he lost his life, but a real change in the way riders respect each other and respect the limits. Unfortunately, I don't feel that this happened. I have always been very aware of what can happen in this sport, which is why I have always shown respect to my fellow racers. You might not like the person next to you on the grid but you have to be aware that if an accident happens, anyone can be hurt or killed. Sometimes young riders are so desperate to win that they forget what's most important. They get built up so much that they start to believe the hype, they feel invincible. Nobody is, especially in bike racing. And if a rider doesn't care about his own safety then it stands to reason he doesn't care about anybody else's either. Don't get me wrong, MotoGP is as safe as it has ever been in terms of the gravel traps, circuit layouts and rider equipments, but the fact that certain riders were still putting others at risk even after Marco's death bothered me a lot.

which, yup, can't see casey being a fan of marc. he's got some very ironclad beliefs when it comes to riding standards and the importance of rivals respecting each other and what that looks like on track in terms of hard racing - it's just an outlook and approach that would always have clashed with marc's. (also, yeah, like casey admits, it does just scare him! laguna seca 2008 wasn't fun for him because he was worried about his safety! which is entirely understandable, but I can't imagine if that's the case he'd feel particularly comfortable or indeed safe racing marc marquez.) on marc's side, even in 2013 he was pretty good at shrugging off these kind of critiques from his rivals, including ofc from dani and especially jorge that year. so maybe it'd be mostly one-way antipathy, but probably not all that pleasant for anyone involved. livio suppo said back in 2020 that casey would've suffered a lot from marc's personality, and also in 2023 said this:

I don't really agree with suppo about 2008 and it does lean into the frustrating trope (which casey also chafed against in his autobiography) that seeks to explain all of casey's struggles and defeats by what was going on in his head. like, I do think he would've done a good job fighting marc! he would've won plenty of their duels, even when they were fighting wheel-to-wheel! he did say repeatedly after laguna seca 2008 that if something like that happened again, he wouldn't roll over for valentino (unfortunately we never really had the chance to properly test this but oh well)! he just wouldn't have enjoyed it, which is kinda why he retired in the first place

basically, they respect each other just fine because they never had the chance to fight on track. if they HAD fought on track, things would've inevitably been more fraught, not least because of their very different approaches to racing, as well as how by marc's own admission he's an asshole as a teammate. that difference in approaches is where the 'fearlessness' of marc comes in, and not in a good way for that relationship. who knows how it would have all turned out

just one more thing - marc is actually asked about the "he wants to humiliate them" quote in a presser, but unfortunately the question is formulated in a kinda messy way so marc doesn't really end up directly addressing the comments. though my guess is at least one person present understood exactly what casey was getting at:

[snooze-mode]

Alright fuck it it's Episode: Revenant theories time.

Was talking with a friend over some of the images and stuff we've been shown of what's coming in Revenant and have come up with a theory as to what I think might be going on based on the stuff we've been given (as someone who overanalyses media and stuff for symbolism and whatnot). Ramblings under the cut for those who wish to go spoiler free.

So, we know that this upcoming Episode is gonna be based around Fikrul and the Scorn once again, right? We also know that Fikrul has managed to obtain one of the Echoes, giving him great power. Whilst we don't know exactly what Echo he has (as Maya's was explictly referred to as the Echo of Command), the stated goal of Fikrul being to raise an army of Darkness (according to this article) suggests his particular Echo gives him a refined control of the Darkness, which he's now using to build his ranks of Eliksni as shown below:

Notice anything about that image? Other than the fact all the Eliksni are depicted with pink eyes (which I hope might actually be in the game and not a stylistic choice for the sake of the cutscene's limited palette [because that'd be cool and you cannot change my mind]), Fikrul is stood in front of a burning House Light Banner. So yeah, he's going after House Light in particular, no surprises there as they're going to be the primary friendly NPCs of the Episode. Buuutttt.... This is where we get into more theoretical musings.

The flag is burning around the edges, but the biggest damage done to it is through a hole in the top of the banner, with the fire burning outwards from the centre.

Now, I am most definitely overthinking this in terms of symbolism but fuck it, it's fun to theorise so here we go.:

Misraaks, through dialogue in the Echoes Battleground missions and through the Polyphony Lorebook is shown to be suffering from the worsening effects of the Curse of Nezarec, being afflicted with splitting headaches as well as visions and voices demanding him to "RULE". The most obvious conclusion is that this is the effects of him distilling the Darkness from the Nezarec Relics in Plunder to make the tea to heal Osiris now coming back to bite him, but what if there's a little more to it than just that?

What if the reason Misraak's curse is acting up now is because of Fikrul? He's using the Echo's power to play with the Darkness seeded within Misraaks to try and erode House Light from within, and where best to strike than with the Kell, who already has the influence of the Darkness tainting him? Hence, the flag burning from the inside out from the top of the House emblem.

Adding to this is that, in the announcement post for the Dev livestream, we do actually see that Fikrul has a new title to his name.

Source: Destiny Bulletin

The Master of Souls, eh? The title, to me, only strengthens this idea that he's the reason Misraaks' curse has been escalating in intensity, suggesting the Echo has given Fikrul the ability to directly manipulate souls and 'turn' them (to play into the Vampire Gothic theme this Episode is aiming for). This could also just be a reference to the fact he is Scorn, though, to go along with the Episode's title.

Misraaks is known throughout the remaining Eliksni, both for tales of his brutality when running in the Old Crews, and for the fact that he is now a Kell. Despite his now (mostly) peaceful House, Misraaks still holds much weight in Eliksni society through fear, such as how he managed to get Spider to back down from being antagonistic simply through dropping his actual birth name. It's this reason that I think Fikrul would specifically target him.

Is this all just me extrapolating from very little amounts of information? Yeah, lol. There is also the caviat that this is similar to what the Conductor did to Saint, so they may not retread it to differentiate the power of the two Echoes - But I am simply basing this off of what we were shown the Echoes could do in the first Episode. Even if they do go with this similar route, I think the similarity between Saint being influenced by Maya and Misraaks being influenced by Fikrul could be a fun parallel to draw in the storytelling on account of their close friendship. We have Misraaks trying to comfort a depressed Saint, it might be nice to see Saint trying to return the favour - Especially when he's seemingly the first one to pick up that the Kell is sick.

Anyways if you made it this far, thank you. Most of this was written in a fever-induced fervour at 4am lmfao so I'm sorry if it doesn't make any sense. I just enjoy theorising and extrapolating from the tiny details.

[108garys]

MoM: Darkness, antagonists analysis

so random thoughts about our three human antagonists and why I was recently thinking that there did need to be specifically three of them. As we know the people that made MG are far removed from the circumstances that our characters find themselves in, the chemical itself has no will and the human antagonists are also victims in this scenario so why not look at them the way we look at our playable characters?

(long ass ramble below)

As we know the things our characters see are influenced by their fears and anxieties and are generally representative of their deeper psychology, while we don't see these things for the fishermen we do see their before and after. 2/3 weren't that bad and were obviously roped into the original crime and the third is the least bad of the anthology's antagonists. My thoughts are of the individual reactions to the darkness, to lose their sense, to concede to it or be consumed by or overcome it.

...Hopefully this will make a level of sense.

Starting with Danny, in the early part of the game he is shown as a voice of reason, consistently advising Olsen towards less drastic action and being all around level headed, even when things get worse he attempts to look out for the player characters on multiple occasions but the situation repeatedly presses against his very reasonable actions until in the end he can no longer trust his own judgement and is seen attacking the soldiers who could have rescued him. In the darkness he loses his discernment, in a way his arc is the inverse of a character like John which is usually pegged as the "learning to lead" arc where as Danny goes from a level-headed advisor to a reactive survivor. This is why I think he always survives but never dies, he shows a possible fate of our characters if they lose their rationality.

Olsen is an interesting case because he's in the exact mid point of horrifying in real life but really just a guy compared to the other villains, his early game motivation is literally just trying to make ends meet, obviously his decision to do that by taking tourists hostage is both reprehensible and recklessly shortsighted in terms of it actually working out for him and worse is that he drags everyone else into his scheme. His motivation seems more like pure greed towards the end and his paranoia grows but I think it's interesting to note that everything he does is motivated by survival at all costs. A thing I've never seen brought up(probably because it's far more complex than most of us are equipped for) is how Olsen and Fliss share a lot of the same views and life circumstance, both talking about doing what they must to get by, even outside the bounds of the law, both holding disdain for Americans and generally foreign influences and are superstitious, with Fliss she carries these pressures alone but learns to both rely on and be relied on throughout the game, the burden of survival is then shared but Olsen despite having more people than her to begin with views it as his burden and is crushed under it(sometimes quite literally), taking those he cares for with him, the player is on more than one occasion challenged with prioritising another characters wellbeing over there own or not and survival depends on teamwork which is something that Olsen fails at as he concedes to darkness and dies alone in his pursuit of survival at all costs. Across all playthroughs.

Finally junior is unique as our one meaningfully determinant NPC, especially because you have to go out of your way to save him. In the early game it is easy to see that he is just misguided or more so misled by his brother, the player can build a rapport with him over the game, he's never shown as level headed as Danny but he more easily sympathises with the player and in turn becoming sympathetic himself. During the later part of the game he is lost in the darkness having lost the guiding force of his brother and the balancing influence of Danny so when you get to him at that critical point you are trying to guide him out of the darkness, failing which he and potentially another are consumed in that darkness, if you save him you are literally helping him to see the world around him more clearly and in turn he guides the player to Olsen, in this way his arc is a coming of age arc where he learns to make decisions for himself and grows to be proactive in his ability to help others, much like a character like Mark or conversely if you do not save him he never gains a sense of self or sees the world clearly, comparative to Andrew's worst ending. Ultimately if he survives he under goes a sort of redemption/self-actualization arc and I think that you don't really 'win' MoM without his survival.

So yeah that ended up being longer than expected but tl;dr I think the fates of Danny/Olsen/Junior matter more than it originally appears and their respective arcs and characteristics are more deep than they get credit for

@kassiekole22 @delurkr @ctrvpani @tinynightmarewoman

@eframschweigersskincells @aydeenchan @conra @qusok what do y'all think of my semi stream of consciousness analysis? 😂

[girldragongizzard]

Chapter 16: First Megnitude

There are a handful of vacant wooded lots around town, similar to the one that Säure just torched. And they are each, in their own way, important and meaningful, and really shouldn’t be touched or harmed.

They can, however, be repaired. In a way. And it has also been fairly easy to keep them free of people.

So, we’re sacrificing them for this. And he’s the one that is going to end up on the hook for it. Because everyone can recognize just who he is, and they see him doing it.

One after another, we draw Säure to each, and he torches them. Just like he did before. The exact same maneuver.

At least, for the next three.

The final four, however, are fairly close together. Which means he has to wheel about more, and slow down his flight.

And then, afterward, he continues to circle, confused as to what has just happened and why nothing more is vying for his attention. The scanning has stopped.

And instead of chasing him all over town, I had decided to make my way to that general area and do my circling at near street level, below the tree tops.

I was really hoping to catch him early, but we’d set this up just in case I couldn’t.

And now comes the really tricky bit.

Now I have to try to take advantage of his confusion and slower flight, and his ridiculously enormous skyscraper sized bulk, to get as close to him as I can.

Doing things this way did feed his belly with the fear of the people, of course. He’s stronger now than he was when he first took flight.

It’s a calculated risk.

But the thing is, I now need to make another calculated risk on top of that, and it’s terrifying.

And I didn’t plan this out in detail, because I had no idea what he’d be doing at any given moment. It’s totally an engage-and-adapt kind of situation. But I got the idea from my last encounter with him.

I think I want to get higher than he is to do this.

—

Sirens fill the air with their thin wailing.

Eight columns of smoke rise from the Fairport landscape all around, and he has caused them.

And suddenly, the incessant taunting message has stopped.

By the third signal, he knew that he wouldn’t find the Physicist at any of the locations he was drawn to. It was too obvious what was happening. And he would have flown off and returned home, in disgust and a refusal to play the game, if he wasn’t so buoyed with power and sustenance by the third attack.

Each subsequent wetland destroyed fed him less fear than the last, but the rush overall was so much more sustained and filling that he decided he might as well keep going.

It was as if the wiley Architect was personally inviting him to feed on this municipal buffet of popular terror.

A strange choice in strategy, since it has only made him stronger and more ready to defeat the jaws of any actual trap that may be set.

But now there’s nothing at all.

Is he being invited to keep rampaging of his own initiative? Has he been shown “safe” targets that endanger his source of food as little as possible?

It’ll only work for so long. There’s only a limited source of unpopulated properties within the city limits. Over the course of time, he’ll just have to get more creative if he wants to keep this surge of power up. And eventually, he won’t see any other option but to start killing people, and he knows that way leads to his ultimate destruction. Starvation being only the long term risk. Even now, he’s made himself the target of the U.S. military, who are likely holding back in order to watch him and attempt to find his weaknesses.

There’ve been a small handful of other dragons his size around the world, and a couple of them have had their run-ins with modern weaponry. Säure isn’t looking forward to that. 

But they were ugly beasts, clearly inferior to him. He suspects he has power that they did not. He just has to unlock it, like he did his ability to transform himself into something smaller.

Is that what this is? Has he been chosen by the Architects for one of their plans? Is he being given the opportunity to grow and learn at their hands?

He doesn’t want to believe it, despite how insistent the thought is. They’re nefarious and capricious beings, proving themselves untrustworthy and ultimately villainous. So, if he is being fed for some purpose of theirs, the day that he is to be discarded violently and ignobly cannot be far behind that moment of fruition.

No.

He must learn more and come to understand it.

So he’s making a figure eight low around the last four marked targets, which are now growing into larger conflagrations.

The neighborhood is the true center of the city, which has grown mostly Northward over the past few decades. Right on the edge of Downtown, the old Faiportian name for it being the Alphabet Ghetto, it’s no longer an area of any particular poverty. People who consider themselves to be middle class, as laughable as that is, have collected there. And now he can feel them cower so deliciously every time he makes a pass over their homes.

It’s full of old stick-built houses of various styles and so many trees. If the fires he’s started do spread, it could be a disaster for the city, and the people know it.

And his movement is spreading smoke all around the neighborhood.

If he wanted to, he could reach down with one claw and remove most of the roof of any one of the houses. Just one crushing swipe, and that family would have shelter no longer. They’d fear for their future more sharply, and he’d get the rush.

But his business right now is to find clues. To keep an eye out for movement or markings that indicate the actions of the Architects, or the Physicist specifically. Maybe a sign has been left to direct him further.

So, he’s focusing on that in the low and cold afternoon sun, only barely obscured by the smoke.

In the very edge of his peripheral vision, he catches a flicker of denser, darker fluttering movement in one of the smoke columns, and his head snaps to the side to allow his eye to center on it.

One of the city whelps is carrying something bulky up into the sky, using the heat of the fire as a concentrated thermal.

Bold.

He wonders how it can exert so much effort while breathing all that smoke. It should be weak and easy to snatch out of the air.

He turns and glides in under it, opening his jaws, and recognizes Meghan with a duffle bag just before he gets so close he has to use his memory of her location to zero in on her. With a maw as big as his, he doesn’t need a lot of precision.

He feels a bump and a scraping up his snout and forehead, once again.

Damn!

She’d done that before. He was certain she wouldn’t be able to evade him a second time, especially with all the power he’d just soaked, and the lack of oxygen in the air her tiny lungs must draw from.

This time he bucks his head back, in order to throw her and disrupt her flying, and then beats his wings hard to rise as fast as he can, leveling out quickly to pick up speed and turn as swiftly as possible. 

If he can just catch her falling and flailing with that ridiculous duffle bag in her claws…

—

Monday, September 2, over a month ago.

Dusk was falling fast in the Fairport Arboretum, and Wentin had already helped me confirm once again that I can tap into reserves of stamina and strength that should not exist. When pushed by circumstance to desperation, I can fly and fly and fly and fly.

The monster had suddenly stopped, and was now watching me from the ground while I clung to the highest part of the last tree I’d flown to that was still strong enough to support me.

It had been chasing me about the clearing that contained the observation tower.

Now it tilted its head at me and said, “Next lesson.”

“Yes,” I responded, feeling ready to do this.

“I forbid you to fly higher than the tree tops above you,” it said. “Which means, you cannot even cross this clearing. To evade me, you must enter the woods and remain there. And height will no longer be your savior.”

And with this proclamation, I knew I would not physically be able to do what it had just forbade of me. Unless I expressly refused to continue my training. If I wanted my lessons, I’d be bound in every way by its arbitrary rules.

But this felt familiar and doable. I’d only been training with Wentin since I could remember. It had been chasing me in my nightmares since my very first one, since before I was born. And when these memories gripped me, and I knew myself to be within one of those nightmares again, I could do the things I’d done before but had forgotten upon awakening.

This time, I would not forget.

But then Wentin ran at the observation tower, leaping up at it, and bounced off its supports to launch itself directly at me.

And all I could do was dive right into the woods, flapping briefly and as strongly as I could between trees to change my direction and keep moving, never to rise too high but also never to touch the ground.

And Wentin was ever closer behind me, leaping from trunk to trunk as if gravity fell in the direction that its toe beans pointed.

One moment above, and the next below me, it very nearly caught me in its claws or teeth countless times, on into the night.

And all I could do was push my ability to dodge and weave amongst the trees well beyond the bounds of my own belief.

—

But Meghan isn’t there.

She’s nowhere to be found. Not behind him. Not to either side. Not anywhere.

Not even on the ground, what there is of it he can see.

So he accelerates and twists and turns, trying to find her, hoping that she’s not found some way to cling to him like a remora or lamprey or something horrible like that.

—

Having Säure rise up beneath me as I’m trying to fly up and gain much needed altitude while carrying a bag full of electronics is worse than the first time.

Previously, I had been diving toward him, and had very little time to decide what to do, but I saw him head on with my own eyes. I was facing danger and in a split second would either die or evade it.

This time, I had been flying away from him and he was still catching up to me. It reminded me viscerally of all my chases with Wentin, from as early as I could remember in my life.

But, Säure’s enormous rising bulk and hot breath gave me the boost of air I needed to sail over his mouth and nose, and drop down to his brow yet again, scrambling over it and his skull to the space between his horns.

And there I’ve ducked into the draft of his head. There’s a pocket of air there as he passes through the sky with any speed, and it takes very little effort on my part to hide in it.

I’ve been practicing nightly since my last training with Wentin, and honing my ability to turn on my tail like a dragonfly. I can’t do it if I’m not in The Zone as they say. I have to be in the same state of mind I’m in when having a nightmare and taking control of it.

But Säure rising up beneath me to swallow me like a bug was certainly enough to put me right in that mental space.

Now, I’m surrounded by six gigantic horns, each the size of a hundred year old tree.

I examine the nearest one and find that it has these nice long crenulae, ridges with grooves between them, where I can stick a bone conduction speaker such that even I’d have trouble reaching it afterward. Nothing’s going to knock it off once it’s in there.

The trick is that I didn’t think to unzip the duffel bag beforehand, so now I have to do it while maintaining flight behind a rapidly and erratically moving dragon cranium.

I have to dodge and weave with the visual cues of Säure’s movements, and it’s no different for me than dancing with Wentin in its woods. Pure adrenaline and reflexes and some kind of violation of physics. And then, while I’m doing that, I reach down with my right foreclaw and grasp and grasp and grasp to hook it through the large loop of thin webbing strung through the zipper pull that I put there to allow me to open it while in dracoform.

In a lucky flurry of movement, I do open it, but nearly lose the bag.

It flutters precariously in the grip of my left rear claw, the speakers inside remaining there thanks to centrifugal force pulling them into the far corner of the bag, away from its opening.

My rear claws aren’t really meant for gripping. They’re my running feet. But I can strain to clench them around something if I absolutely have to, and I’ve been doing that this whole flight.

And I’m about to lose the bag entirely, it’s so precariously gripped between one claw and my big fat pad.

With the next strong downward beat of my wings, I arch my back, bringing that rear claw forward and grasping with both my foreclaws for the bag.

And I get it. It’s secured.

And I have to dodge and weave some more, and I nearly get slammed by gigantic dragon neck, and I find myself doing a barrel roll before having a moment where everything is relatively steady and easy to deal with.

Säure is pausing to think or choose his next move.

I let the bag hang from my left claw, and shove my right claw into it, reaching for a speaker. It’s the size of a bacon cinnamon roll.

It’s designed in such a way that I can easily feel where the adhesive side is, and can adjust my grip accordingly, its textures obvious even to my digits.

The adhesive isn’t sticky while I’m holding it. It’s a pad of foam-like material with Sharpie drawn circuit patterns all over it. All I have to do is touch it specifically to Säure’s horn, and it’ll stay there.

So, arm held out, speaker aimed appropriately, I dive in toward one of his horns.

—

Suddenly there’s a pop and a hum in his own skull. 

It feels like it’s coming from his lower left horn. Like an audial dimension of space has opened up in his head, unfolding from a point just outside of his usual perceptions.

And then another one, from the lower right horn.

He lets loose with the loudest screech of fury and indignant rage he can muster. And then, mid flight, reaches up with his right foreclaw to attempt to scrape whatever it is off of his horn.

The effort nearly has him plowing full bodied into the city, and he hardly avoids clipping the tallest trees with his rolling left wing. But he manages to right himself and pull up enough to flap safely to a higher altitude, slowly and agonizingly free from destroying his own hoard below.

Two more pops in quick succession increase the sensation of space opening up in his consciousness, and he shakes his head.

He can’t seem to stop this from happening!

He tries to duck his head as fast as he can, sharply and unexpectedly, but there’s two more pops, and all six of his horns are humming and his entire skull with them.

—

The next time he rises to gain altitude, I leap off the back of Säure’s head to give myself as much velocity as possible and dive toward the city below and behind him. I’ve already discarded the duffel bag, letting go with the last two conduction speakers placed.

I’m sure that bag is fluttering to the ground slowly enough it won’t really hurt anyone. I tell myself this.

It’s certainly less of a concern than the laser breathing angry aircraft carrier in the sky that’s literally feeding on the emotion of fear.

The turbulence caused by the work of Säure’s wings is fierce and buffets me this way and that, but I manage. It feels like dodging invisible trees.

This next phase will have to be up to everyone else.

—

Briefly, static fills his mind, followed by a distinctly feminine voice that's low and full of smoke, algae, and seashells, tinted with an accent that wobbles between something vaguely Scottish, what could be French, and a Vancouver B.C disc jockey.

He knows this voice. He's heard it before, nine years ago.

“Good afternoon, Daniel Aurelius Säure,” the Poet of the Architects says to him in his head. “Welcome to KFEN, the impromptu radio station that's in your head. I hope you've enjoyed your buffet of nightmares. Now we have a special after dinner act to serve up just for you, on behalf of the people of Fairport.”

He climbs as high as he can to see if he can leave the range of the transmission, but to no avail. But this gives him the aerial room to attempt to scrape the contraptions off his horns without crashing.

While he reaches for one of his horns with his claws, the Poet continues.

“Please relax. This will only take a minute or two,” it says. Then, as if to a sound tech while still on the air, “Can we have a mic check? Testing? Testing? One, two, three.”

And on the beat that would be four, a cacophony of whelp cries rises up from the neighborhoods of Fairport furthest away from him. It's like a circle of sound, faint on the wind, made of disparate calls.

And on the next beat, those from the next closest territories call out.

He can’t quite reach the device that's on his horn. He can’t feel it. He can tell it's still there by the ambient hum in his head. It's just too small, and hidden too well in a crevice of his horn.

And the next closest whelps cry out, as he works to regain altitude.

What if he folded himself up into his human form? Would these radio receivers follow him and still plague him, unreachable? Or would they fall off?

And then the whelps directly below him, including Meghan, call their challenges.

So, she's done her work and left him.

Immediately, he starts circling to change his location constantly.

Then the call cycle repeats, starting with this furthest from him again, and narrowing in, like an audial bullseye.

They all know where he is, and they're that coordinated. The bullseye adapts as he moves.

And of all things, the fear of the people he’s been feeding on begins to abate, sharply.

All he feels is the sudden loss of the flow of nourishment. There’s no other sensation.

But in its absence, it's too hard to not imagine a smugness, a pride, and a sense of regained confidence aimed at him.

The whole city begins to feel like his enemy, and he doesn't like it.

And then the cycle of calls occurs a third time.

He noticed something last time. Meghan’s distinctive cry has moved. Not only is he weaving and circling, but she is making a bee-line to the stadium.

Last time she was in the third circle of calls. Now she's in the second.

And she makes a point of crying out, too.

Is she trying to lead him there?

If she is, she's making herself a target. 

Säure has no qualms about burning her in the middle of a nearly defunct sports field. So he turns and follows.

“Now that we’ve got your attention, Säure,” the Poet’s voice cuts through his skull and mind again, “I’d like to recite you some of my poetry, if you don’t mind.”

[hurlumerlu]

Extending the same level of courtesy: 9, 12 and 22 for dragon age

Sorry about the delay, I started to think about my answers and promptly went insane. Then the trailers for DA4 droped and despite having 150 grievances and 236 fears - or maybe because -I went insane some more. I did get a few somewhat coherent thoughts out, though !

9. worst part of canon

So I typed like half a LibreOffice page on why the way Inquisition deals with the mage/templar conflict was an incredible example of setting things up for almost no payoff, and then I went on a tangent about my frustrations with how Orlais in general is written, and then half another LibreOffice page on the fact that so much of canon is in supplementary material and how that does negatively impact my enjoyement of the games, with a long parenthesis on how Alistair being a half-elf makes the lore actively worse, all the while taking numerous breaks because I was not being normal about all of this and I wanted to be normal about all this, but clearly I cannot be normal, about any of this. Anyway, worst part of canon is still the use of the term Tranquil Solution in DA2. Pretty sure we already talked about that but it's just. It's so bad. Why.

12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

Well, as you pointed out this fandom is big enough and discoursey enough for pretty much all characters to have their ardant defensers - which is actually a good thing I think. I also think that the nature of the games necessarily means that a playthrough can never cover every aspect of a character and that you might easily miss an interaction that could nuance or improve your opinion of them. Vivienne is kind, warm and extremely straightforward with her goals if you take the time to befriend her. I didn't like Blackwall in my first playthrough, and never brought him anywhere, but his romance turned out to be my favourite of all Inquisition. It's pretty obvious Fenris and Sebastian don't fear all mages if you have Bethany in your party. If you don't blame Aveline for your mother's death, she gives you a speech on grief that I personaly find deeply touching. Sten often approves having his views challenged. Oghren is not just a walking crude joke, if you try to view his character with just a bit more grace, etc. So rather than pick one character people should like more I'll just say that if someone ever replays the games, they should try to put aside everything that annoyed them about whichever character they dislike the most and spend some time interracting with them with fresh eyes. It's often worth it. (I did write a love letter to Aveline, though)

22. your favorite par of canon that everyone else ignores

DWARVEN SOCIETIES. okay, i'm exagerating a bit. Idk that it's my absolute favrite part, and I know the dwarven lore is enjoyed by at least 20 people worldwide. But the fandom as a whole does not seem to care about the dwarves, except to ask if Varric is fuckable (no judgement, I get it). But there is so much there! Their rigid cast system and conservatism that are fucking everyone up, their disconect from the fade/lack of dream (and yet they can be made to dream, as shown by a dwarven warden or inquisitor), how that helps them handling lyrium but only to a point, their especially high resistance to the taint because of their proximity with the Darkspawn, their proximity with the Darkspawn, THE LEGION OF THE DEAD, the paragons and the Stone, the Titans, Sandal? And surface dwarves are also deeply compelling. Cut from their roots, otherized by what everyone else around them insist on calling "their people". When Varric tells a story of his brother blowing up at him for breaking a plate and ends with something like "that plate was the whole city of Orzammar to him", does that get to no one else? just me?

Chose violence ask game (I did not particularly chose violence)

[teine-mallaichte]

You know what irritates me in dragon age? Ok a few things but going to focus on one thing here, the languages... so we have all these diverse places, each with heir own fashions, customes, accents, etc but everyone speaks common (or trade which although in some codexes is said to be different seems to be basically treated interchangeably in the games).

Only a few places are said to be bi-lingual, implying that their own language is still used.

Also the inherent cultural differences between places are shown or mentioned and then totally forgotten about... In every game we get a diverse group of people with differing back grounds and yet there is almost never any language barrier of cultural misunderstandings, and even when they are they seem to be glossed over. Sten is about the only one I can think of where the cultural differences are even vaguely explored.

I want to see situations where characters are totally confused by what’s happening, where they don’t understand (or misunderstand) local phrases or dialects, where they fear making social forpars due to the inherent differences in their native societies – or simply in their upbringings.

Alamarri died out in Ferelden and now everyone speaks trade and/or common, fine, ok. But in the real world when this sort of thing happens people often try to reclaim the language later, so there should be places where the language is still used, even if only for certain phrases like the elves use elvish. Or maybe there are scholars who still speak it? I used to live in Scotland, believe me although Gealic is a “dead” language people still use it in certain places and situations, same in Ireland, and in Wales there are signposts, TV channels, and radio shows in Welsh… It feels like Alamarri should definitely still exist and have some sort of presence. Ok as you may be able to tell from my user name I may be biased when it coems to this example...

But the same goes for Ander. I think Anders should have been able to speak it at the very least, and the fact that many of the Darkspawns name come from Ander should be seen as more of a thing. In a way it would make some sense for the Grey Wardens to be taught at least some Ander during training due to their history.

And Alsahiria, given the politics and history of Seheron it makes some sense for this language to be slowly dying out, but I feel it would still be spoken in remote areas and likely by members of the Fog Warriors. Some may even see the continuation of the language  as a form of rebellion and carefully hold onto it. I wouldn’t be all that surprised in a fair number of slaves in Tevinter could speak it, using it as a way to communicate in secret.

Antivan… well to be honest Antiva is just fascinating in general, but their language is under used. It considered one of the most poetic and beautiful of Thedas, and yet it mainly only spoken in the rural and poorer areas. That seems like a shame… I mean yes the Codeses do imply that the higher members of society can and do speak it, but they also imply that in the cities common is almost exclusively spoken.

Did we even hear Zevren speak Antivan? I don’t remember him doing so, but I could be wrong.

I’m going to skip Avvar for now because there is a LOT to unpack there… same for Chasind and Ciriane.

The Drawves are said to have several languages, including Trade, and the language spoken specifically in Orzammar (often incorrectly referred to as Drawven), but to be honest I don’t think we know much about any of the Drawven languages… which is a shame.

Elvish is another complex one as it makes sense why that one is essentially lost beyond a few key terms and a few phrases known by the Dalish. However, I feel like it’s one that has potentially to be, at least partly, reconstructed… there are ancient elvish ruins and artifacts, though of course as with all reconstructed languages it would never be what it once was.

Qunlat, finally an actual language that although not used much is definitely a distinct language with significance and logical usage. We even get to hear it used a few times, though only for the odd word or line it at least makes sense.

Orlesian, again a language that is referenced and appears to be in regular use. It’s said that most Orlesians are bilingual. So it makes sense that they tend to use common around the player, but it feels like the language could be utilised more.

Rivaini… You know what we know far less about Riniani than I realised when I started this mild rant… They essentially have thie rown religion, and the only peaceful Qunari settlement that I can think of, but there’s language… very little seems to be mentioned. It would make sense that it is still spoken those given their general culture and identity, it is likely that they are bi-lingual in a similar way to Olaris.

Tevene… ok this one is my main bug bear… So it’s said in the codexes that Tevene is essentially a dead language, certain phrases still exist (many swear words) and it’s used by the elite as a show of status  but everyone mainly speaks Trade – which once again is meant to be slightly different to common. But just look at Tevinter society, the idea that they don’t retain their language, or a modern variant, at least for things like ceremonies, ritual, and events seems unlikely. The most we really hear of Tevene in Fenris swearing. Which is another thing... The guy literally only has memories of being a slave and then been on the run (with a short period with the fog warriors in between) there really should be some serious cultural/social/linguistic barriers there.

This… this got away from me a little and escalated lol, but ye… this irritates me probably more than it should… and I haven;'t even ccovered ALL the lagunages. Anyway, i this I think is why I keep trying to crowbar language and cultural differences into AUs.

[miss-bvnny]

Cinderella sequels multiverse theory + Anastasia's reward for repentance

Do I have your attention? Great! Let me explain what I mean:

For those unfamiliar, Cinderella 3: A Twist In Time (2007) tells the story of Lady Tremaine getting ahold of Fairy Godmother's wand, and using the magic as a means of enacting revenge on Cinderella and finally climbing the social ladder by using Anastasia as a pawn. Cinderella eventually undoes this chain of events thanks to the mice, and Anastasia's conscience as she realizes this is all wrong.

Anastasia is at first coerced into the scam enticed by the thought of the prince loving her. However, as time passes Anastasia realizes that this is NOT what she wants. Especially not through these means. The prince loves her because he's been tricked into thinking she's Cinderella via Among Us Imposter means. Anastasia wants someone to love her for who SHE is, not for who they THINK she is.

This movie takes place on Cinderella and the Prince's first anniversary. Meaning it's been a year since the wedding at the end of the first movie, and LESS than a year since Cinderella 2.

Now, this movie came out in 2007. Cinderella 2 came out in 2002. Many of you might remember Anastasia and the baker falling in love in Cinderella 2. Which, to sharp-eyed Disney Nerds, was never once mentioned in Cinderella 3. Anastasia laments that she wishes there was someone who would love her the way the Prince loves Cinderella

But...what about the baker??? If the story with the baker in Cinderella 2 had really happened at this point...she PROBABLY wouldn't be singing this?? And before you say ''They obviously just forgot about that aspect of Cinderella 2'' HOLD ONTO THAT until after you hear what I've got to say.

At the end of Cinderella 3, when the prince finds the REAL Cinderella and the truth is uncovered, Fairy Godmother asks them if they'd like the true timeline to be restored, as they're currently in a botched false timeline created through Tremaine's meddling. They choose not to return to the present, instead electing to fall in love and have their first year all over again. In layman's terms...Cinderella 2 is now obliterated. It happened, then the timeline change occurred, and now it's going to happen again. Basic Back To The Future timeline meddling plotline stuff.

So here's the meat of my theory: Anastasia doesn't meet the baker until after the timeline reset. It was her reward from a higher power (God, Fairy Godmother, True Love, etc) for doing the right thing and coming clean to Cinderella and the kingdom instead of going along with Tremaine's scheme. She's shown to be visibly uncomfortable with being a piece in her mother's game. And despite obvious fears of consequences, she confesses at the wedding. Something that...I have to imagine must've been hard to do with such a horrible mother and Drizella breathing down her neck. She did the right thing, despite fearing the outcome. Something worth rewarding.

Now remember when I said I didn't think they'd ''forgotten'' about the baker? During the end credits, they show a bunch of really cute painterly portraits of the cast presumably taking place after the movie. And...what's the FIRST one they show???

SHA-BOOEY!!!

Now...this CLEARLY isn't an airtight theory, but in my defense...all time travel movies are VERY messy to a degree. My fallback explanation for any cracks in the case is Cinderella 2 actually takes place after 3, in the new timeline. THAT'S how the story of Anastasia in love manages to be present in THAT movie.

Anyway all this is to say that you should REALLY watch Cinderella 3 if you haven't already because it is GENUINELY one of the cutest disney sequels, and I REALLY love Anastasia's character in the latter Cinderella movies <3

[yellowloid]

hello! I saw you made a post on the analysis of the ultracheese and honestly it was such an intriguing read! I read that that you believed golden trunks was an even more meaningful song when related to miles and alex and I would really really rEALLY love to hear what you have to say about golden trunks because honestly its one of my favorite songs

hello and thank you!!! always happy to hear people enjoy my song theories ❤️

golden trunks is one of my favourites too and i was d y i n g to analyse it. it's just such a unique song sound and lyric-wise, definitely in my top three in tbhc.

(as always, disclaimer: this is just a fan theory and everything i'm gonna say is 100% subjective. i'm not claiming it's the Real Meaning TM of the song bc 1) songs can have multiple meanings depending on the lens that is used to analyse them and 2) we'll never actually know what alex meant by writing it. we only know it's the closest thing to a love song in the album, featuring a conversation between him and someone he's falling for. nothing else is set in stone.)

but let's get to the actual analysis, shall we?

to me, this song is about miles. 100% about miles. the person he's talking to, and the person he's falling (or has already fallen) for is miles. there are theories going around on the internet saying it's about taylor or even louise, which are both??? kinda senseless theories??? first let's talk about taylor: why would he create that same sense of secrecy (that is present in songs such as the ultracheese) in this one, if it were a song about his (at the time) girlfriend? why would he add that 'we're friends but i'm falling for you' vibe (that we can find in diwk too) in a song about his current partner? why would he admit to fantasising about that person (keyword: admit, like it took him some time to come to terms with it) in a song about his so of literal years? tbh it doesn't make any sense to me.

and then louise... a bit more plausible since it would at least explain the secrecy if he was cheating, but then again, still doesn't really make sense. what's with the wrestling references. i don't think she's a wrestling fan, and if she is, she's never publicly shown she is. not that she needs to, ofc, but... you know. this theory usually comes from twitter fans who can't even bear the idea of it being about miles, because god forbid someone ever mentions the idea of alex and miles being a thing!!!! so really considering the source of this "theory" is twitter i wouldn't give it much more thought lmao

so now onto the lyrics...

"last night when my psyche's / subcommittee sang to me in its scary voice / you slowly dropped your eyelids / when true love takes a grip, it leaves you without a choice"

this is such an interesting and powerful opening verse to a song. it's so cryptic, and at the same time so blunt. he admits to being a victim of night-time overthinking, that moment when you keep tossing and turning in bed and sleep just won't come to you, dooming you to unwanted thoughts, realisations and fears coming together to haunt you through the night. he's scared of those voices in his head, whispering all those truths to him that he doesn't even want to consider; his mind is being flooded by snaps of the person he's maybe trying not to think too much about, but at the same time he knows it's a losing game: there's no choice to be made, no power held over the images that keep shooting through his mind. he also seems to realise something about the person in question: the possibility of them being his "true love" (or, similarly, him being this person's "true love", hence them admitting to fantasising about him). once again, this is extremely important because he rarely ever refers to love so directly in his songs, and i don't think it's a coincidence he does it here as well as in the ultracheese. having no choice could also refer to him finally coming to the realisation that - despite the fact that he's still so scared of the whole situation - he can't run away anymore. there's no choice, he has to acknowledge the facts because they're all there, hiding in plain sight. there's no way he can escape the truth, and that terrifies him. but he does acknowledge it, as he sings:

"and in response to what you whispered in my ear / i must admit, sometimes i fantasise about you too"

i can just so easily imagine him and miles sitting entirely too close to each other in some booth at a bar, the unspoken boundaries of friendship getting blurred as too much alcohol gets in the way, and miles leaning closer and closer to him just to whisper in his ear that he sometimes fantasises about him in ways friends shouldn't. or as they rehearse their songs right before/during the eycte tour, which always reminds me of this quote:

MK: I remember, one time Alex came up to me and said "I want to see how you spit, while singing "sick puppy" in Bad Habits. I called him a madman afterwards.

AT: Yeah...

MK: But he was right. No one else would say something like that to me, It was beautiful.

AT: You see, Kasia, I just tell Miles about my fantasies, and he tries to fulfill them, even when they are very kinky, like in that case.

(full interview here)

or even during concerts, since we all know how much they loved whispering god-knows-what to each other during song breaks, then proceeding to giggle and flirt with each other like they weren't being watched by an entire crowd sksldklsh. they seemed to be self-aware of this, as they also used to take the piss and play with interviewers when asked about it:

Interviewer: What sort of things do you say to eachother on stage?

Alex: Dark, twisted and very private things.

Miles: You'd think we were freaks if you knew some of the things we talk about on stage. We talk about weird things that don't really make sense to anyone else.

(i think this is from nme, i haven't been able to find the original interview but you can read something more here)

however, imo alex admitting to fantasising about the other person in this song makes his confession so heartbreaking. a while ago me and @jewellersstunts were talking about the fact that it's just so easy to imagine miles whispering something like that to him, maybe during a concert, and him being taken by surprise + generally bad at expressing his emotions through spoken words + him being insecure about their situationship and his identity and just... not saying anything in reply. maybe brushing it off as a joke, when in reality they both knew it wasn't. now, following the fandom theory of them still being friends but having some kind of falling out after the eycte era due to the unclear nature of their relationship - miles getting serious and alex chickening out -, let's fast forward to a couple of years after the tour. when things aren't the same anymore and alex is there, all alone by himself, dwelling on the past, on what once was and what could have been... and him finally finding the courage to give miles a reply through the veil of song, because that's the only way he could ever really be able to express his emotions in some kind of neat fashion (+ i think a similar development was also featured in one of WeirdChick333's fics which as we all know are the canon milex bible so there's that)

i also can't help but think of miles' own album when i think of this song. whereas golden trunks is filled with regret and it's like saying "i didn't give you a reply when you said it, but i'm saying it now. it probably doesn't change anything though, and i'll have to live with that for the rest of my life", coup de grace as an album (and may i say, ESPECIALLY wrong side of life which is my absolute favourite miles song ever) is like saying "yeah you didn't say anything then. you broke my heart and and you keep breaking it every single day, we fought so much and nothing is the same anymore, but i don't care because i want you and you want me, so can we please, please try again?". i think that's really telling of their personalities. tbhc as a whole has a very pessimistic vibe, even though it rarely ever addresses private matters that directly (with golden trunks and the ultracheese being the most direct songs, but still being incredibly cryptic and mysterious). cdg is sad and angry and heartbroken about a nasty breakup, but in general i'd say it still holds some kind of hope for that relationship to be salvageable.

but i'm digressing. let's keep going:

"the leader of the free world / reminds you of a wrestler wearing tight golden trunks / he's got himself a theme tune / they play it for him as he makes his way to the ring"

the reference to wrestling (and possibly to something that actually happened) could be a way for alex to make it clear, even to miles himself, that this song is about him. if it were indeed something that actually happened (them watching a wrestling match or the news, and miles pointing out trump's similarity with that wrestler), then when miles listened to the song - if he still had any doubts - it'd be irrevocably clear to him that alex was talking to him. it'd be some kind of secret code, an inside joke between them turned into a way for alex to make sure miles knew. (also lmao at the twitter fans going to great lengths to prove this verse is about taylor or louise when they've never expressed any interest in wrestling while miles has been a big fan for ages. @ amtwitter bffr)

now, i don't remember if he's referring to an actual wrestler that wore golden trunks as part of his costume and that reminded miles of trump, but the mention of wrestlers in general also reminds me of a very interesting addition by @reconciledviolence729 to my ultracheese analysis. she said:

"For some reason I got fixated on the line: “And dress like a fictional character / From a place they called America / In the golden age.” I can’t help but think how Miles dressed as Ric Flair, who was a significant persona during the “golden era” of American professional wrestling (which is often considered at least somewhat faked aka fictional)."

going back to golden trunks, this verse also introduces some kind of indirect commentary on politics, which is present in other songs from the album and which continues in the next lines:

"in the daytime / bendable figures with a fresh new pack of lies / summat else to publicise / i'm sure you've heard about enough"

(quick aside: "bendable figures" could also be interpreted as a very suggestive image. not gonna elaborate any further on that)

in this reddit theory it is suggested that this mirrors the "breaking news, they take the truth and make it and fluid" verse from american sports, and i think that's a very interesting parallel. however, this part also introduces a contrast to the opening line (last night / in the daytime) which hits us with a sinister dilemma. we like to think that the (often pessimistic) conclusions about our life that we come to at night aren't to be trusted. nighttime does that, it tends to fuck with our rationality by making everything seem scarier, more threatening and disheartening than it usually is. our minds tend to lie to us at night. but here he says that the "fresh new pack of lies" comes during daytime. so what's more trustworthy, night or day? the scary, truthful voices of night or the blatant lies of day? he doesn't give any clear answer to this question. he just leaves us with the doubt, instead bringing the song to a close with newly-found courage:

"so in response to what you whispered in my ear / i'll be upfront, sometimes i fantasise about you too"

the difference with the previous "i fantasise about you too" line is obviously the use of "i'll be upfront" instead of "i must admit" - which is such a slight change, but it's still so important. the use of 'must' and 'admit' imply a certain degree of forceful admission. he finds he can't hide it anymore, and has to at least take notice of it in some way. he doesn't necessarily want to admit it, because he wishes he could still keep that confession to himself. on the other hand, saying "i'll be upfront" is so powerful on his part. he not only acknowledges the feeling, but he takes a big breath and finally comes forward, announcing it without any second thoughts. he finally finds the right way to actually reply, even if it took him so long to do it. and yes, maybe it won't change anything, but this song is a way for him to send out a message, and the fact that he managed to write it and include it in the album (despite never being able to play it live - which makes it even more sus) is a testament to how much of his heart he put into it, how much deep emotion and reflection and courage it took him to be able to compose it and sing it. and that's exactly what makes it so incredibly special.

[thesporkidentity]

this was originally a discussion on another platform, but i decided i wanted it (edited for coherency lol) actually on my blog so ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯. it is quite long because i was apparently more excited than i'd realized to talk about what a good villain drac is

-

i have to disagree in terms of assigning anyone but dracula himself the "fault" for what happened on october 3. without a doubt, there are certainly things that could have been done better, but nothing that i think could be attributed to any one person are any one action as the one avoidable thing responsible for mina's suffering.

like, was it the wrong choice to cut mina out of their plans after the big infodump and make her feel like she couldn't share her worries with the menfolk for fear of being labelled a hysterical woman and cut out even more? yuuuuup, stop doing that. but we also know from lucy and renfield that dracula can force silence on people. she'd still have been unable to tell them what happened on october 1 even if she'd tried. (frankly, i'm surprised she even managed to write it in her diary at all.) so were they in the wrong to keep her in the dark? yeah absolutely, communication is one of The Themes of the book and it's not subtle about it lol. but i don't think her knowing their plans about the dirt boxes would have changed those events except to give them a different flavor of horror.

could they have let her come with them to the carfax estate on october 1st rather than staying home alone? she might have managed to avoid that first bite by not being in the house. but the Big One where she was forced to drink drac's blood and bound to him was on october 3, when everyone else was still in the house. she hadn't been left behind; jonathan was in bed with her. because while it's easier for dracula to prey on people when they're alone, safety in numbers is not guaranteed. maybe he'll just throw a wolf through your fucking window and drug the entire household, maybe he'll hypnotize everyone because knowing about his trance powers does not stop one from succumbing to them. subtlety may be a preference, but it's not a necessity.

but maybe they could have stopped him from getting in at all by transferring renfield somewhere else like he'd requested even if they didn't actually free him. except dracula only needs an invitation from any resident. he could have worked his way through all the patients/inmates until he got one. heck, he could have waited until the crew were all out and then just gotten someone who works there to let him under the pretense of looking into facilities for a family member, who knows! renfield was just the one he already had a connection with who had shown a previous inclination to help him, but dracula has shown himself perfectly capable of rules-lawyering his way into places.

and one can run through a whole list of what if's, but just as easily as i can think of a scenario i can come up with a way around it, just an endless series of moves and counter-moves. so while we as a fandom can (and do) talk in circles about how someone was wrong and should have made a better/different decision (and boy, there were some Choices being made, i'm not even trying to defend some of them), i don't actually think they could have averted, at this stage, the horror of the october 3 events simply by making the Good And Proper decisions (as designated by each personal opinion). i think we'd have ended up in the same destination, or somewhere equally as bad, it's just that the road there would have looked a little different. (and while i haven't looked at the events leading up to lucy's death as closely, i think it's likely one could draw the same conclusion where Questionable Decisions were made, and yet none of them were actually the final cause of the disaster.)

and that's part of what makes dracula as an adversary so scary. it's human nature to want to play the blame game because if this could have been easily prevented by one action or by one character, then his victories would be by mere chance, something you could avoid by just being smart enough. but dracula is a strategist, and all these backups and failsafes and counters make him feel unavoidable, inevitable. not one path to victory but all paths.

[iwonderwh0]

Hey! Do you know anything about "Uncanny valley effect"? I watched some videos on YouTube recently and was so impressed! I like your analysis posts about android nature and I would be interested to know what you think about this. The detailed examples from DBH are especially welcome!

First I want to thank you for this question because thinking about it evolved into an argument within my head about the definition of the term that I am now super excited to share. Yes! Yes, of course I know about uncanny valley and referred to it in my previous posts.

And I want first to talk about this effect in details.

To those who don't know (if there are still people who haven't heard of that term before ) the uncanny valley effect describes the feel of unease or even fear that we, as humans, experience when confronted with something that looks like human, but just sliiiiightly off. The example of that would be mannequins or just dolls, anthropomorphic robots or even other actual humans, whose behaviour seems "not human-like". Probably the best example of uncanny valley to this day is this infamous video "I feel fantastic" where this doll that looks like a woman, sings a song with this creepy robotic voice. This video is The definition of uncanny valley effect in it's purest form.

Y tho

I've seen an explanation to the question why would we feel this kind of fear around those objects that look like humans, but off, which was "Because we're naturally afraid of dead bodies, duh. Simple as that!" to which I strongly disagree, because it doesn't answer the question why would this robotic voice be so scary in itself, even without this robot girl. And I have an answer to that, which may be a little different from the others I've seen so far. I like to think about the uncanny valley effect as a subset of this more general fear, caused by ruined expectation of something in our reality that we're really-really familiar with. In a traditional understanding of uncanny valley effect - that "something" in question would be humans. But let's think further, as generally a fear caused by something, that's supposed to be familiar, but for some reason is not.

I have a good picture to illustrate this more general "uncanny valley" effect that isn't linked to human-looking/sounding objects.

It's this fucking picture

On the first glance it looks like something we instantly recognize as "some table with a bunch of junk on it", but the really next moment we go "Oh..wait.." and this sickening moment you realise that yes, it's familiar, but also completely utterly not, is the uncanny valley. For me at least.

Being a microtonality fan that I am, I can't help but draw the parallel between uncanny valley effect and the feeling people get when they first listen to microtonal music. It is described painfully similar to how people would describe uncanny valley, as something that's making them feel deeply uncomfortable for a reason they can't exactly name. It sounds like music (it looks human), but also there's something fundamentally different about how it sounds (acts, looks, smells) that makes it uncomfortable and scary, because it's something that's supposed to be familiar, but isn't. I'll take this opportunity to link a microtonal piece that struck me the first time I heard it with it being both uncanny and stunningly beautiful. When I played to other people they reacted almost as if it was physically harming them, lol.

I realise I dwelled away from the original topic, sorry.

With uncanny valley being attached specifically to androids within dbh there's actually not so much to say because in this game it's specifically emphasized that androids = humans without a proper attempt to make it androids != humans, but even so they deserve to be treated as such. I suspect it's because if they were actually shown as really different from humans, it'd make it harder for a player to emphasize with them, as player will be just as uncomfortable thinking about androids receiving rights. If only they looked and acted slightly less human the whole plot of a game would be perceived from a completely different angle, it'd actually put a game within a "horror" category solely because of it all being uncanny.

But even so, there are SOME examples of uncanny valley within the game.

Starting from the most obvious one, singing Kara's head that can be found on a landfill along with others mutilated androids. This right here is almost a dictionary example I gave earlier, I wonder if it was intended as a reference to "I feel fantastic" (other than a reference to Kara's first short film) but other than that there are barely any examples. Like yeah, their blood is blue and the insights are slightly different (although they do look similar to human's) and they can be brought "back from the dead" in a way, and their voice can get slightly glitchy when they're corrupted, but all of this is only hinting at being uncanny without actually being uncanny (at least not for us to feel it like this). It's even kind of weird that in a game absolutely fucking NO ONE is scared of androids for them being uncanny, but instead everyone hates them for replacing them at their work, which is honestly a really valid reason that isn't just "I hate them for being different" kind of thing. Sure there is Lucy, there are Zlatko's modified androids, all those things. Not uncanny, not nearly enough.

That's why it's so fun to imagine it actually being uncanny in a post-revolution setting and thinking about how will it actually affect interpersonal relationships between characters when one of the characters is stepping away from being perceived as just another human, who just happened to have a few quirks like having blue blood instead of red. When you actually acknowledge this inhuman part of the question. This is something I want more, so I write some of it myself. Here's a little piece of text from it that basically summarises what I want to see discussed more

[nmwyaeiac]

Explaining Serial Experiments Lain.

The show opens with Lain's classmate, Chisa, committing suicide at the urging of Masami Eiri.

Eiri had previously been an engineer on the technology foundational to the Wired, and he included special code to integrate his personality and memories into the network. This gave him unrestricted access to everything on the network. He set himself up as a god of the Wired, and conscripted the hacker group known as the Knights to serve him. His physical body committed suicide.

His goal, using the Knights as his tools, is to merge the Wired with the real world. Lain is the lynchpin to this plan, and he needs her to abandon her body and transfer her consciousness to the Wired (just as he and Chisa did) to accomplish this.

This raises the question of just what Lain is and why she's so essential. I don't know an easy way to describe this, and this ambiguity is pretty much the heart of the show. I'll give my thoughts at the bottom of this post, but let's just get back to the plot and remember that Eiri needs Lain to commit suicide.

He manipulates Chisa, one of Lain's classmates, into going first so she will urge Lain to join her. This event awakens Lain's interest in computers.

The Knights, partially on behalf of Eiri and partially for their own motivations, create a virtual duplicate/aspect of Lain and use it as a tool for furthering their goals of pushing the Wired into the real world. This duplicate is a feared hacker on the Wired and has at least some capacity to alter memories.

We also have keep in mind that "altering memories" is, in terms of Lain's setting, the same thing as altering reality itself. Whatever people remember to have happened is what actually happened. When Lain or the Knights do something impossible, what they're doing is probably better understood as altering human memories and perception to make that impossible thing happen. (It seems likely to me that the more Lain is reliant on the Wired, the more of this power the Knights have access to through the Lain duplicates.)

The Knights use this ability to perform strange pranks, such as creating a godlike image of Lain in the sky and merging data from the real world and several online games. Some of this is to forward their plan of raising consciousness of the Wired as something just as real as the offline world. This is something they see as philosophically true and, with Lain's help, literally true.

Opposing the Knights are the operatives of Tachibana Labs. These are Eiri's former employers and they continue to maintain the code running the Wired. They are aware of Eiri's scheme and would prefer if it were neutered. They are working to remove Eiri's code from the Wired, and the Men in Black keep Lain under observation. Eventually the Men in Black execute all the members of the Knights, but are betrayed by their employer, who seems to have wanted the Knights removed but is interested in the potential of Eiri's long-term goals.

Eiri has the same basic goal as the Knights, merging the Wired and the real world, but is more focused on Lain. He wants to impress upon Lain that she can rewrite memories/reality because people and their memories are constructs of data, just like the data on the Wired. The Wired is no different from the real world, except that the real world is a place where she suffers from loneliness and isolation, and the Wired is a place of friendship and power.

After introducing Lain to her potential, he strikes the biggest blow: He tries to get Alice to turn on Lain. Alice is the closest thing Lain has to a friend in the real world, and is likely the only person Lain truly cares about.

The Lain duplicate spreads personal rumors about Alice having a relationship with a teacher at their school. (These rumors are untrue, but they're particularly hurtful because Alice does have a serious crush on this teacher. I think later he's shown in a relationship with her when she's an adult.)

When the Lain duplicate's interference is revealed, Alice believes Lain has betrayed her trust and Lain is emotionally devastated. She awakens her latent potential to rewrite memories, and causes everyone to forget about the harmful rumors. Except Alice.

Alice quickly realizes something is wrong. She goes to Lain's house to confront her about the confusing situation, and discovers that Lain has been living in a horrible state. Her physical body has been completely neglected and her home has turned to ruin. (Lain's parents were revealed to be actors, hired either by Eiri or Tachibana Labs to care for her temporarily.) All this shows that Lain has grown to accept Eiri's philosophy: The physical form is meaningless.

At the last moment before Eiri's influence becomes complete and Lain transfers herself to the Wired (likely by committing suicide) Alice appears and manages to convince Lain otherwise. Their relationship has special meaning in their physical bodies, in a way they cannot explain but has sufficient value for Lain to reject Eiri's influence. She even points out that what Eiri is doing is likely something beyond his innate capacity - there must be someone behind Eiri, masterminding this plot without ever being recognized. There's been a true God behind this all along.

Enraged, Eiri manifests the power he has in the real world and attacks. He is quickly defeated by Lain, but the encounter puts Alice in a state of extreme shock. Lain is once again driven to protect Alice, and uses her power to rewrite memory/reality and erase herself from having ever existed. Alice, Eiri and all the others now live in a world where Lain never was.

Finally, Lain ponders what her existence is without anyone to perceive her. She loses all sense of identity and self, until she is saved by another power in the form of her (not actual) father. (This is the very end of the show and is left ambiguous, but this is likely supposed to be God. God also inspired Eiri to insert his consciousness in the Wired and God is capable of perceiving Lain, and thus ensuring her identity and existence, even when no one else can.)

In the last scenes, Lain says good-bye to Alice and the viewers, having accepted her role at God's side.

Okay. So let's go back. What is Lain?

My understanding is that she is basically a collective representation of the humanity. Just as the human mind is a manifestation of billions of neurons, all connected and exchanging information, Lain is the manifestation of billions of humans being connected and exchanging information. With the invention of the Wired, she was awakened. The Wired is a metaphorical brain for her, a literal network between humans.

Eiri identified her existence on the Wired and gave her a true physical body. (No idea how he did this. This is not explained at all. Cloning seems unlikely, perhaps he simply willed her into existence by altering everyone's memories? Personally, I believe her real-world body is related to the KIDS experiment.)

Lain always existed, since she is the collective sum of humanity. This idea can be understood as similar to the collective unconscious. Eiri took this abstract entity and gave it a physical form so he could manipulate it. (This was probably prompted by God, not just his own initiative.)

Since she is made of the human mind, her ability to alter memories is completely explained. She can change the minds of others the same way you or I would move our fingers.

[nettleshuttle]

Ask meme: Yusei.

yusei it is!

my fav thing about them: definitely his backstory. i love how we get a protagonist that’s already entangled in a net of complex relationships with different people, whom we get to encounter throughout the series and gradually get to know what was actually going on between them. i miss that a lot for protags such as jaden or yuma, all of whose interesting relations are established within the show and who seem to have little to no history of their own to explore and wonder about. besides, cheesy and run-off-the-mill as it may be, yusei’s talk about how every card is unique, precious and worth treasuring is really heartwarming and it’s great to see him putting all these strays to good use and properly appreciating them.

least favorite thing about them: actually, i find yusei to be quite boring personality-wise. i’m halfway through 5ds and he still hasn’t shown any more interesting characteristics. i get that it’s nice how caring and determined he is, but i’d like to see some flaws of his, some less ordinary and predictable reactions and/or developments. i feel like the great backstory is partially going to waste because he’s so standardly fixed as a character. also, maybe the following episodes will prove me wrong, but i see little room for development in him, which is kinda sad — or at least, he’s far inferior in this aspect than even the yuma or jaden i have already mentioned.

favorite line: not a single line, but i live for the two prison duels where he uses other people’s decks/cards to beat the shit out of the arrogant bullies that his opponents are. i remember i started this short arc being rather indifferent and left it so emotional about him it was actually funny.

brOTP: jack. i totally see them as exes, but either way their reconstructed friendship is a great thing to follow throughout the series. they have wildly different approaches to many things, but respect each other and get along anyway — their mutual backstory is very well-constructed and with a suitable pinch of bitterness where necessary.

OTP: akiza! i feel like i wrote that a hundred times already, but i’m dying to see more of the trust and care that has built up between them. yusei being a far healthier replacement of divine for aki is the best development ever, while it’s obvious he’s worthy of that assurance. the date episode was so precious too,,

nOTP: i used to like his ship with jack a lot, but now it just doesn’t appeal to me anymore, i guess? for once, their canon romantic relationships with akiza and carly are just far better. in terms of actual notp i’d put sherry because she’s a lesbian and i’m gonna die on that hill (also they make far cooler friends, c’mon).

random headcannon: yusei always has trouble building his decks because, no matter how responsible his duelists thinking is, he just wants to put every single card he has in there — it feels so wrong for him to leave anyone out. similarly, i feel like he’d love to exchange decks with others for a single game, even people he doesn’t really know: if his instinct finds someone trustworthy, he can borrow them his deck without fear. he’d really like to get to know new people this way and see how they use his cards too; exchanging decks with closer ones, like akiza or crow would be quite special too. he’d dislike using power decks though, like jack’s (or, hypothetically, stuff like ddds, blue eyes etc) — it’s not that he doubts using them requires as much skill, but he doesn’t find it nice to use such archetypes, that’s it. in a modern au, i’d totally see him enrolling in small tournaments all the time, testing the most obscure card sets imaginable and trying to make all of them as good as possible. by the same token, he’d avoid meta stuff in this au — not his cup of tea.

unpopular opinion: i guess what i said about his personality counts as rather unpopular? oh, and i just find it ultimately stupid that when he faces ghost and the meklords, who totally trash all synchro decks, he still thinks about using synchro without synchro summoning instead of just?? idk?? building a non-synchro deck?? i’m not saying he should switch to some fusion or whatever, but there are viable decks that don’t even rely on ed cards. why make shit so difficult for yourself and wonder why you’re still on the losing position. i get that it has to align with the plot, this being a synchro-themed part and all, but it’s just so stupid i can’t get over it — the creators should have never maneuvered themselves into a corner like that.

song i associate with them: cohen’s heart with no companion (this will always be a ryo bakura song in my head, but i’ve also thought it somehow fits yusei’s vibe, though in a very different way) and, contrastingly, probably born for this (the score). btw i’m an enjoyer of sappy romantic shit in context of his ship with akiza, so walking the wire (imagine dragons).

favorite picture: i like his regular design a lot so seeing him whenever is great, but a shout out to this edgy boy right here: